The Single Guy

for this installment i'm going to dip into the memory bank- as in WAY back. this little nugget of an experience was the beginnings of this guy's singleness. lets begin shall we?

the setting: graham elementary, home of the grizzlies
the time: kindergarten, where reputations are made
the place: a school bus, yes- the big yellow thing your all familiar with
the girl: tara stephens, major hotty
the guy: none other than..... you guessed it

i was a man with a crush. wow, i'm already off to a bad start. lets try that again

i was a little boy with a crush. i was in afternoon kindergarten, and luckily enough so was this girl, the aforementioned tara s. she had long, curly blond hair. she had blue eyes. or maybe they were green. quite possibly coulda been brown tho. she was the envy of all the k-garten boys who called themselves grizzlies. shoot, i'm sure there were even 6th graders who had crushes on this girl. i wouldnt doubt it, not one bit. that should give you an idea of the magnitude of the kind of girl we're dealing with here.

we werent in the same class, so the only contact i had with her was either seeing her at recess or on the bus ride home. at recess i was too busy trying to look cool on the tire swing to actually go talk to her. on the bus ride i was much too scared to go sit next to her. instead, i employed the super-sly-secret-stare from a few rows behind her. (no, it wasnt creepy like that at all). i would get off and try to smoothly walk by her in the aisle, hoping to catch her attention so she'd notice what a stud-muffin i wasnt. i mean, what girl is gonna fall for a guy that cant even say one word to her, much less actually sit next to her?

thus were the circumstances for most of the year. i couldnt even tell you if she knew my name. oh but i knew hers! and this particular day went much the same as most others. no interaction, just lots of sly staring and day dreaming. so the end of the day came and we started out for the buses. i had to get there early so as to make sure i sat far enough back so i would be behind her. but alas, in this my attempt proved fatal (or fateful???) on this day. i was up near the front. oh no! what am i going to look at for the next 25 minutes? certainly not the bus driver. she was no tara stephens by any stretch of the imagination. so i resigned myself to my predicament and scooted over so i could stare out the window and wonder why life had been so cruel to me this day. but aghast- instead of being able to wallow in my unfortunate luck by myself, someone decides to cate (the opposite of vacate in case you were wondering what that word is or means) the spot next to me. ah man, come on people. maybe they would realize their mistake and quickly move. but they stayed there. deciding i should at least look over to see who it was that i was to share my seat with, i casually glance over......

AND BAM!!!!! guess who just scored big time? you got it, the SG himself just put up major points in the k-garten fantasy hotty contest! miss stephens had decided to grace my life finally and took the open spot next to me. spirits sored, tears were wept, hi-fives given! i was a man (sorry, little boy) whose day dreams were becoming a reality right in front of his six year old face. i felt like forrest gump when he gets on the bus for the first time and the only person who lets him sit next to them was a major babe, only the roles were reversed and she was sitting down next to me. (side note: pretty sure i made that same face forrest did when he turned and saw who it was, if you can remember)

who knew a bus ride would provide the setting for the most influential girl moment of my young life? as we proceeded down 200th street en route to our destinations, i soon felt a foreign object at rest on my shoulder. what is that strange sensation? i turn my head and audibly gasp when i see that the extra weight was from the head of miss stephens herself. and i wasnt even imagining it this time, it was for real! i could see it! i could feel it! i could smell it! this was actually happening to me!

but eventually the fairy tale came to an end, her stop came up and she had to leave. but not before she let me experience the most magical bus ride i had ever known, or ever would know. she sat next to me and laid her gentle, beautiful head- with those lovely locks of blondness- on my wimpy, bony shoulder.... the whole time! after a few moments of trying to regain my composure and grasp the import of what had just happened, i realized i was the only one on the bus still. hey, wait a minute. when i get off there are still stops to be made with children to get off at them. the bus driver noticed my semi panic attack and luckily knew where my stop was and returned to drop me off.

explanation: since i was sitting on the other side of the bus and my driveway was on the other side of the road, when it came time for my stop i completely spaced it! honest to goodness, to this day i remember the bus stopping, me looking out the window and seeing the familiar trees that stood across from my driveway, but yet not realizing that it was my stop. my mind was occupied with much more important things then to register it was my turn to get off. i wanted to ride that snuggle bus for as long as i could baby! even if it did mean missing my stop. oh it was well worth it i tell you. even though my mom wondered why it was i was so late in getting home, i didnt care. i had experienced greatness. i had become a man. then it was i realized my destiny to become a smooth hunk of pimpness. but wait.......

she never said one word to me after that!!!! can you believe it? after all that? she just kicked me to the curb. for the rest of our elementary campaign i had to sit on the sidelines of love as she not once more tossed a morsel my way. tough break you might say. it happens. who cares, its freakin k-garten for goodness sakes (all valid points which i agree with now, but tell that to a young crushed heart and see the reaction you get)

and so i started on the single path that has led me to where i am today. it all started with a girl, a boy, a bus, a cuddle, and a missed bus stop....