G. Sterling

New Blog!

2010-03-05T10:21:00.003-07:00

so me and amanda made a new blog and want to give ya'll the link so you can check it out. i guess she wasnt too fond of incorporating herself into mine, haha jk. i think i'll still update mine but it wont be for awhile, till after i graduate and get married in april. i dont have any time for this poor little blog, sorry everyone! but look at our new one and add it to your list if you like:

agmccoy.blogspot.com

we just sent out our announcements so you should be getting yours very shortly!

the single guy...... NO MORE!!!

2010-01-22T21:31:00.003-07:00

wow, has it really been this long since i've posted? well lets just say its been a rather busy and eventful couple months. yes it is true (in case you havent heard by now, but judging by the 4 people that actually read this blog i'm sure your in the loop) I'M ENGAGED! i couldnt be happier. her name is amanda and we met right before conference weekend. she just told me she's on her way home from girls night out so i'll be making my way over there, but i wanted to let the 4 people know that i havent given up on my blog. sorry its (and you) have been neglected for so long. a lot has happened and i'll do my best to fill you in on the important details. but for now just know that more is to come....

me and the gorgeous gal

Ya Dig the New Style?

2009-11-07T14:40:00.005-07:00

life gets a little boring sometimes, right? dont you get tired of the same old routine? i mean, isnt it exciting when you throw in a little something here and there just to throw yourself a curve? i'm sure we've all done it, or at least thought about it. well, i thought about it and decided to take action!

i thought my look was getting too familiar. i seemed to wake up every day and look in the mirror and think "wow, i look exactly the same as i did yesterday..... the day before..... the week before that" and so on. why not take a risk and mix it up? throw in some adventure so that when i go into the bathroom in the morning i could think "now there's a guy who's in charge of things. he's got his head on straight. he knows where he's going with his life." ya know? havent you ever wanted to tell yourself that? me too. and hence the change i made to accomplish just that:

*i call it the baconstrip-less wreath

Read With Caution

2009-10-29T13:32:00.010-06:00

during this time of halloween when everyone gets all worked up about being scared and watching frightening movies, my mind reflected back upon a time during my childhood when i endured the longest night of my life. but first some background:

i was the little scared kid all growing up. even my little sis was better at handling the spooky circumstances of growing up in the woods, having older siblings who teased you, the darkness, watching scary movies, dealing with spiders, etc. i had to call her over every time to kill daddy longlegs in my room. she would watch movies wide-eyed while i would be in the corner of the couch with pillow pulled close and fingers half covering (okay, mostly covering) my eyes. how embarrassing is that? i would turn on every light in the house on the way up to my room at night. i would get everything ready so all i had to do was turn off the light in my room and then run and jump real quick into bed. i had a teddy bear that i slept with well into my twenties, and i would place him on the edge of my bed so he would get taken first if something came after us. and when i awoke in the middle of the night and he wasnt by my side, i would debate for minutes on end as to whether i wanted to risk putting my arm down the side of the bed so i could pick him up off the floor, in case something was under the bed and would grab me and pull me under to the dark abyss of nowhere. i would open the closet doors at night so i wouldnt have to worry about them opening up a crack and seeing eyes peeking thru staring at me. i probably lost hours of sleep over the years as i lay awake in bed imagining all the bad things that could happen to me and being too scared for awhile to fall asleep. finally rest would come and eventually the sun would save me, at least for a few hours until night came again to wreak havoc on my consciousness.

i admit, and all my family can attest to, that i hated the dark and scary movies. but i insisted on watching them b/c thats where everyone else would be and i didnt want to be by myself. it took me at least 6 times before i finally made it all the way thru "IT" without closing my eyes. and so this was my mindset as one night our family gathered around the tv to put on a movie i was not prepared for.

oh it starts out nice enough, a pleasant kid who is confined to a wheelchair and is having a grand 'ole time with life. then the moon comes up. but not any kind of moon- a full moon. for those of you familiar with full moons and halloween stories, you can guess the creature i'm about to describe. yes, the werewolf. night descends on this poor unsuspecting town and this beast sets about his business. his business of death! never completely showing itself it carefully, gruesomely goes on in the ways of dismantling and killing the people of this town. unawares, the wheelchair kid decides to try out his new motorized ride his uncle had given him and sneaks out (no, not during the day like any smart person would do) one night. on a bridge he lights fireworks and is having a gay 'ole time (haha, just had to throw in a gay there to completely ruin the mood). alas! the creature is lurking in the nearby woods! it comes out and starts to run after the defenseless child. luckily, just in time, he lights a firework and shoots it at the werewolf just as its about to do him in and he gets the H outta dodge. whew, that was too close for comfort.

the last half of that story about him on the bridge had to be told to me after the scene ended cause i was in all-out cover of eyes, head and body for it. didnt see a thing after the camera angle switched to the werewolfs point of view from the woods. mercifully the movie ends (i'll let you watch it so i dont spoil how it ends) and we head up to bed. i made sure to sandwhich myself between some siblings so i wouldnt be the first one up the stairs or the last one on the end to be snatched away with no one ever noticing. we ready ourselves for a long night of worry and despair at the thought of having to sleep after being horrified half to death. i soon notice that a brother (spencer, i'm sure you were the first one to leave!) grab a pillow and head downstairs. what on earth is that man (moron) thinking? he's seriously gonna leave the comfort and relative safety in numbers to go down to wherever he was going? good riddance to him, nice knowing ya. but wait, others are following suit. such clueless siblings i have! whats wrong with them? i was soon to come to my senses tho after i was the only remaining one. to heck with that, i'm not gonna perish up here all by myself. every single one of us, all 8 kids, went downstairs to sleep in my parents room. what genious! they would protect us from the evils lurking outside, and apparently upstairs.

the oldest, and bravest in my book, brandon took the couch right next to the window. crazy man, but hats off to ya cause i would never have placed myself in such precarious circumstances. yep, i grabbed a spot right next to my parents bed. it would have to go thru 7 others before it got to me, and hopefully by the time it did it would be tired, full, or disinterested- or me and the parents would have escaped by then. thus me and teddy braced ourselves for the night with this on our minds:

*can you guys blame me for praying not to have bad dreams or nightmares every single night?

College Life

2009-10-29T13:10:00.009-06:00

what else can ya say about your meals and food (or lack thereof) when your a single college guy other than that its sketchy at best? my bro-in-law dal recently gave me his mini fridge, since he got married and no longer qualified for its uses based on the unwritten code for having a mini fridge, namely: being single. so i immediately filled it up with the best beverage available to mankind, specifically: mtn dew.

and so of course i had to attempt to celebrate my new acquisition by making a dinner for myself. this is the result of that attempt. i'm not even sure what it was supposed to be. i think it was a chicken breast covered in bbq sauce, grilled on the ever-useful george foreman grill, along with some kind of pasta that was supposed to be beef stroganoff.

altho the beverages were top of the line (i included country time strawberry lemonade in my fridge cause its quite delicious to the taste of buds), the food itself was less than ideal. okay it was downright crap. pretty sure my body rejected it out of mere sight and smell. didnt even have to taste it to know that it would be of no use to my physical being. but whatever, i forced it down and then topped it off with a nice swig of liquid goodness. thus is my diet at the moment.....

but i do need to give a shout out to cousin amy who graciously allows me to taste of real food almost every sunday and has done so for the past couple years. much thanks!!!

The Single Guy

2009-10-13T18:09:00.005-06:00

for this installment i'm going to dip into the memory bank- as in WAY back. this little nugget of an experience was the beginnings of this guy's singleness. lets begin shall we?

the setting: graham elementary, home of the grizzlies
the time: kindergarten, where reputations are made
the place: a school bus, yes- the big yellow thing your all familiar with
the girl: tara stephens, major hotty
the guy: none other than..... you guessed it

i was a man with a crush. wow, i'm already off to a bad start. lets try that again

i was a little boy with a crush. i was in afternoon kindergarten, and luckily enough so was this girl, the aforementioned tara s. she had long, curly blond hair. she had blue eyes. or maybe they were green. quite possibly coulda been brown tho. she was the envy of all the k-garten boys who called themselves grizzlies. shoot, i'm sure there were even 6th graders who had crushes on this girl. i wouldnt doubt it, not one bit. that should give you an idea of the magnitude of the kind of girl we're dealing with here.

we werent in the same class, so the only contact i had with her was either seeing her at recess or on the bus ride home. at recess i was too busy trying to look cool on the tire swing to actually go talk to her. on the bus ride i was much too scared to go sit next to her. instead, i employed the super-sly-secret-stare from a few rows behind her. (no, it wasnt creepy like that at all). i would get off and try to smoothly walk by her in the aisle, hoping to catch her attention so she'd notice what a stud-muffin i wasnt. i mean, what girl is gonna fall for a guy that cant even say one word to her, much less actually sit next to her?

thus were the circumstances for most of the year. i couldnt even tell you if she knew my name. oh but i knew hers! and this particular day went much the same as most others. no interaction, just lots of sly staring and day dreaming. so the end of the day came and we started out for the buses. i had to get there early so as to make sure i sat far enough back so i would be behind her. but alas, in this my attempt proved fatal (or fateful???) on this day. i was up near the front. oh no! what am i going to look at for the next 25 minutes? certainly not the bus driver. she was no tara stephens by any stretch of the imagination. so i resigned myself to my predicament and scooted over so i could stare out the window and wonder why life had been so cruel to me this day. but aghast- instead of being able to wallow in my unfortunate luck by myself, someone decides to cate (the opposite of vacate in case you were wondering what that word is or means) the spot next to me. ah man, come on people. maybe they would realize their mistake and quickly move. but they stayed there. deciding i should at least look over to see who it was that i was to share my seat with, i casually glance over......

AND BAM!!!!! guess who just scored big time? you got it, the SG himself just put up major points in the k-garten fantasy hotty contest! miss stephens had decided to grace my life finally and took the open spot next to me. spirits sored, tears were wept, hi-fives given! i was a man (sorry, little boy) whose day dreams were becoming a reality right in front of his six year old face. i felt like forrest gump when he gets on the bus for the first time and the only person who lets him sit next to them was a major babe, only the roles were reversed and she was sitting down next to me. (side note: pretty sure i made that same face forrest did when he turned and saw who it was, if you can remember)

who knew a bus ride would provide the setting for the most influential girl moment of my young life? as we proceeded down 200th street en route to our destinations, i soon felt a foreign object at rest on my shoulder. what is that strange sensation? i turn my head and audibly gasp when i see that the extra weight was from the head of miss stephens herself. and i wasnt even imagining it this time, it was for real! i could see it! i could feel it! i could smell it! this was actually happening to me!

but eventually the fairy tale came to an end, her stop came up and she had to leave. but not before she let me experience the most magical bus ride i had ever known, or ever would know. she sat next to me and laid her gentle, beautiful head- with those lovely locks of blondness- on my wimpy, bony shoulder.... the whole time! after a few moments of trying to regain my composure and grasp the import of what had just happened, i realized i was the only one on the bus still. hey, wait a minute. when i get off there are still stops to be made with children to get off at them. the bus driver noticed my semi panic attack and luckily knew where my stop was and returned to drop me off.

explanation: since i was sitting on the other side of the bus and my driveway was on the other side of the road, when it came time for my stop i completely spaced it! honest to goodness, to this day i remember the bus stopping, me looking out the window and seeing the familiar trees that stood across from my driveway, but yet not realizing that it was my stop. my mind was occupied with much more important things then to register it was my turn to get off. i wanted to ride that snuggle bus for as long as i could baby! even if it did mean missing my stop. oh it was well worth it i tell you. even though my mom wondered why it was i was so late in getting home, i didnt care. i had experienced greatness. i had become a man. then it was i realized my destiny to become a smooth hunk of pimpness. but wait.......

she never said one word to me after that!!!! can you believe it? after all that? she just kicked me to the curb. for the rest of our elementary campaign i had to sit on the sidelines of love as she not once more tossed a morsel my way. tough break you might say. it happens. who cares, its freakin k-garten for goodness sakes (all valid points which i agree with now, but tell that to a young crushed heart and see the reaction you get)

and so i started on the single path that has led me to where i am today. it all started with a girl, a boy, a bus, a cuddle, and a missed bus stop....

Basketball Injury

2009-09-28T18:34:00.022-06:00

so its been like 4 yrs since i've twisted my ankle. but just two weeks ago i was playing at a church, 3 on 3 at a half court sized gym that pretends to be full size. wasnt very competitive and so i wasnt driving like i normally do, just shooting jumpers. but the very last game, for some stupid reason, i decide to take this guy off the dribble and sure enough, end up stepping on some dude's foot as i go up for a layup. didnt even get off the ground, just stepped on it on my way up. but i was going full speed and all my weight was shifted to that foot as i prepared for takeoff (yes, some people have described my going into flight for a layup as a jet taking off- beautiful yet catastrophic). as soon as it happened tho i knew it was bad. i've twisted my ankle many-a-times before and its never hurt that much. right when i did it i simply hopped right out the door to sit down on the couch in the lobby for the next 10 minutes. i almost felt a little nauseous. meanwhile it totally swelled up to like twice the size my foot normally is. the next couple days it got all bruised and nasty looking. even my toes turned purple!

the next day i found some crutches in our house, so i decided to employ their services as i went to campus for classes. problem was they were about 3 inches too short, so all my weight was on my arms. after 2 blocks i was dying! how the heck do people use those things? and never before had i noticed people on crutches on campus, but for some reason that day i saw at least 4 people using 'em. we'd walk by each other and give a little nod, as if we belonged to some exclusive club and therefore had an immediate connection. it kinda felt like when your driving a motorcycle and you wave at other bikers. i dont know why people do that, but i like it. makes you feel cool, like they got your back or something. anyways, i guess i kinda had that feeling with my fellow gimps on crutches.

so today i decided to go in and check it out since it still feels rather tight and stiff. he checks it out and says i have a partially torn cfl, or calcaneofibular ligament. i posted a picture so you know what i'm talking about and not think i'm just making up some random word to make it sound cool.

he said to rehab it and give it another month to see how it feels. he also said to wear a brace to stabilize it in the meantime. so i'll be the only moron wearing an ankle brace while NOT playing any sports. i can hear it now:

"watch out for the stairs buddy, wouldnt want ya to slip and twist an ankle!"

"dont be jumping around on the way to your next class, you dont want to come down on someone's foot!"

"hey nice brace man, that looks really cool. should i wear one just for fun too?"

but if thats what it takes to get back to my d-wade type of game, then so be it. the doc even said as i'm leaving, "try and stay away from the 360 dunks for awhile." i know he was being sarcastic, but i'm not. even with only one good foot i can still throw down a mean 360 windmill!

one thing he did say that bothered me is that sometimes the swelling in the ankle wont go away. ever. as in it'll be there the rest of my life. that sucks! i dont want a fat ankle till i die. its still a little swollen, but i'm hoping it goes down. if not i might have to buy a size 11 shoe for my left foot and a size 12 for my right from now on!

but here's what it looks like: (notice the discolored toes in the second picture. very attractive when i wear flip-flops)

My Latest Reads

2009-08-16T23:31:00.006-06:00

the last couple months i've finished a few books that i thought i'd share, since i know your all dying to know about what i read.

Einstein: His Life and Universe. a little long and somewhat repetitive it was still quite interesting. the minds of geniuses has always been intriguing to me. what makes them tick? how does their mind work? why are they considered a genius? he was a bit of a loner and had some troubles dealing with problems in his own family. yet he was passionately humanistic. he believed in a supreme being, so to speak, yet was not religious in the sense of being church-going. he looked at nature in awe and his reverence for its simplicity and beauty inspired him throughout his scientific career. here's a quote i like from the book:

"the value of a college education is not the learning of many facts but the training of the mind to think."

His Excellency: George Washington. in this book he's described as a man worried about his reputation in the ages to come. very meticulous in his detailed management of affairs, both at home and in the military. a born leader, he was one who had the ability to inspire those around him. a very humble man, yet one who could also be somewhat indecisive. never sought for power or appointment. had an amazing characteristic to keep himself composed under any circumstance. a highly admired and respected man in all arenas of life, for good reason. a quote that aptly describes him i think:

"i did not seek the office with which you have honored me... (and now can show) only the grey hairs of a man who has... either in a civil or military character, spent five and forty years- all the prime of his life- in serving his country... (who only wanted to) be suffered to pass quietly to the grave, and that his errors, however numerous; if they are not criminal, may be consigned to the tomb of oblivion, as he himself will soon be to the mansion of retirement."

1776. the story of the revolution during that pivotal year. after learning more about the absolute desperate plight that faced our country during that time, one can only attribute its outcome to the hand of God. we had no good reason to win that war. everything pointed (and worked) against those early revolutionaries in terms of success. if this was not a land destined to be one of promise, then we would have lost. to be so vastly outnumbered while at the same time being so inexperienced, i cant believe they prevailed. divine intervention really is the only plausible explanation for our gaining independence.

"the reflection upon my situation and that of this army produces many an uneasy hour when all around me are wrapped in sleep. few people know the predicament we are in." (george washington)

Shars Wedding & Reunion

2009-08-14T20:57:00.013-06:00

so here's a little taste of our family reunion up in washington the other week. first time everyone in the family was together at once in 5 years. caught dal and shars off by themselves. way to be social guys!the festivities started with each family marching out with their flags to show off. they turned out pretty well, good job you guys
all the kids and their spouses. except of course for....... well you can see the only one without someone next to them, haha
me and shars. i cant believe my little sis is married now. kinda weird but i'm really happy for her. she looked so pretty
all the guys with the bride(zilla). haha, jk shars! what a bunch of goofy lookin dudes
the entire family on both sides. sheesh, quite the spectacle. good thing it cooled down just a bit that day (instead of the ridiculous over 100 degrees it had been that week)
the bro's and pops after some heated games of bball. its been awhile since i've played with all of them, it was awesome! the competition was a little weak for me, but it was still fun. haha jk. (please put on a shirt next time jason)

thanks to everyone who helped plan and make it possible, it was a blast! cant wait to do it again

A Rant

2009-08-13T23:59:00.002-06:00

this really has nothing to do with my life but i still think its crap. can someone please explain to me how the heck a guy gets 24 days in jail for manslaughter while under the influence AND has marijuana in his system, while a guy gets almost 2 yrs in jail for being involved with killing some dogs? tell me how thats fair

donte stallworth got off easy if you ask me. he took a human life, no matter what the circumstances are. throw in he was drunk way past the legal limit and had illegal drugs in his system. just b/c he has some money to throw at the family (which is another tangent i wont get on. why put a price tag on your family members death? make the guy pay the consequences by spending a long time in jail to think about what he did) he gets away with manslaughter? thats crap if you ask me. but since your not asking and this is my blog, i'll write about it anyways. even tho he's suspended from the nfl this next year without pay, thats not nearly enough punishment.

yet michael vick spends almost 2 yrs in a prison b/c he funded (and may or may not have actually killed dogs himself) a pit bull fighting ring? that guy got screwed. totally made an example of. i'm all for not giving celebs any leeway when they mess up just b/c they have money and fame, but this dude caught a raw deal. at least he got a second chance to play in the nfl again, but he lost all that time in his life for something not nearly as serious as what this other guy completely got away with, in my opinion.

anyways, like i said, this has no bearing on my life directly. but it makes me mad when there is complete unfairness in punishment between two crimes that are so vastly different, yet the more serious offender gets a much more lenient sentence. doesnt make sense to me.....

Roomates

2009-08-03T19:48:00.002-06:00

for those of you who dont know, i live with some real winners. in the 4 months i've lived with the present guys i've literally said maybe 25 words to all of them combined. and that is no exaggeration (as i'm prone to do). mine is the only downstairs room and we have a back door to our parking lot. so unless we happen to pass each other in the hall or coming or going we never see each other. not that i mind, and i'll tell you why. they're EMO. for those of you who arent familiar with the term or who it describes, this comes straight from wikipedia:

Today emo is commonly tied to both music and fashion as well as an inspiration toward the emo subculture, and the term "emo" is sometimes stereotyped with tight jeans on males and females alike, long fringe (bangs) brushed to one side of the face or over one or both eyes, dyed black, straight hair, tight t-shirts (usually short-sleeved and/or v-neck) which often bear the names of emo bands (or other designer shirts), studded belts, belt buckles, canvas sneakers or skate shoes or other black shoes and in some cases thick, black horn-rimmed glasses.

thats pretty dang close to the guys i live with. the only thing i would add to that list are scarves. yep, its 102 degrees outside but they'll still wear the tight jeans and little scarf to accentuate their outfit. some of them even have the little fag-tag ponytail on the back of their head. others sport a nasty mexi-stache. still others feel inclined to own (and wear) little pink shirts. anyways, thats just a little taste of who i have to share part of my college experience with. a bit ago i came home to find the following note in our kitchen right above the sink:

wash your dishes a**holes. leaving them in the sink is acceptable never. it takes 30 seconds. dont be lazy, it makes the kitchen smell like a**

mind you, the censoring was done by me. and these are the same people who have no problem leaving their shoes, scarves, shirts, socks, glasses and whatever else laying around the house. live like slobs but apparently dirty dishes are where they draw the line. too bad they still never clean their freakin dishes!

Petty Pranks

2009-07-06T20:23:00.005-06:00

is this some kind of sick joke? come on people, there are pranks and then there is vandalism! i can appreciate a good joke at my expense, but not when its straight mockery like this.

i looked outside my window one morning and saw this and got very excited thinking the girl of my dreams had come into my life and was already planning our future together. i thought to myself "wow, that was easy. i thought i had to find a girl first, woo her and then buy a ring and all this other stuff. but i dont have to do any of that!" but come to find out, such was not the case. there was no note explaining the act. no name for me to call my new wife by. no hint as to who the culprit was. just a brief moment where my hopes were raised only to be dashed when i figured out there was no wonderful girl in the picture for me. ah sucky!

the worst part was trying to get all that crappy paint stuff off. took forever!!! i actually had to drive like that for a day or two till i could get around to cleaning it up. yeah, felt like a real winner those days..... all the stares, the glares, the flares, the cares, the bears, the hairs, and the where's. (what the?...... so the first "air" word was legit, then i just got carried away with rhyming the rest. sorry about that).

but hats off to the girls in my ward who pulled it off. they did it when i was home! had i at any moment gone to the kitchen and looked outside they would've been in a tight spot. but they got me good, well done

Coed Kickball

2009-07-06T19:54:00.011-06:00

for those of you who have never heard of coed kickball, allow me to introduce you and you can thank me later. okay so its not that cool, but this is one of our summer activities here in provo. from the following images you'll be able to see what your missing out on :)

i was usually the pitcher. if there was a perfect form for throwing a nice ball this probably wouldnt be it, but it was close enough to get the job done. and since you pitch to your own team, any strikeouts are not to be proud about. i'm pretty sure i was throwing my slider on this one, but i cant really tell. coulda been my changeup.

here is shars taking her best shot at my wicked pitches. interesting form if you look closely. cant you just hear in your mind her making the sound "hiiiiiiyaaa!!!!!" (i can). it almost looks like she's running backwards based on her motion and arm movements. this particular memory is a little foggy, but i think she flied out to the pitcher. haha, waste!

and yours truly taking a hack at it. you cant even see my foot i'm swinging so fast! i'm like honda from street fighter when his hands move all fast and you cant see him hitting you, you just all of the sudden got the crap kicked outta ya. only in this case it was a harmless groundout to second base, or a popup, or a miss altogether. i'll admit, kickball isnt necessarily my best sport.

alas, our team made it the championship game, but lost. so i guess 2nd place isnt too shabby. i suppose you could say we came, we performed reasonably well, and will never play again. now softball: thats another story.......

Cattle Branding

2009-06-16T12:28:00.033-06:00

so a couple weeks ago we got invited to this guys place to do some good 'ole branding of calves. its something i've never done before and thought it would be interesting to try at least once in your life. so we headed up to burrville (pop. 7.......... try 8! in the middle of nowhere utah). here's what followed:
me and cody (actually found out we served in indiana at the same time- it was his place we went to). check out the iron grip!

i was the back-up in case the calf got past cody. as you can see there is no calf in sight. so much for my iron grip....

yep, that one definitely got away from us. stupid thing just stand still! its only getting some shots and seering your skin off! they're feisty little buggers

where's garlan when all the hard work is being done? nowhere to be seen! good job guys

well done with the shots ladies. we'd pull 'em down and they'd jump right in and pump the calves full of this stuff. luckily there were no drug addicts in the vicinity, look at those needles!

wow, that stuff freakin reaked. nothing like burnt hair and skin wafting into your face

yaaaaay, my first time on a horse! dont i just look the part? i swear i'm a natural. okay so i was semi-scared that it would get spooked and i'd totally get bucked off. luckily that didnt happen

check it out, thats what i call getting things done. look at all them cows scared of me. i gotta admit, its pretty dang cool ridin a horse around rounding up cattle. cant say as i'm a fan of all the bouncing around as it gallops tho, starts to do a number on..... well you guys can fill in the blank(s)

this was the group of us. quite the rag-tag crew wouldnt ya say? thats kristi who i have my arm around, the girl i've been dating. nothing like sweet manure and breying cows to bring out a romance eh? (in case you cant tell, thats karlie right in front of us, kristi's sister)

another one of me and kristi. dont let the face fool you, i was happy to be there

it was quite the experience. i'd def try it again sometime. i was a bit of a lightweight tho cause i didnt do much of the actual wrastling of the cows. they'd get 'em on the ground and i'd jump in. still ended up getting kicked in both shins tho. dumb calves.

and a story: so i'm not used to eating breakfast. i cant eat a lot right when i get out of bed, but they had such good food i couldnt resist. plus we had a big day ahead of us so i needed some energy. anyways, after about 30 min of being out there, chasing cows around, stepping in and smelling manure. sitting there holding a leg while that awful smell drifted right into you, i'd about had it. i told kristi "i think i'm feeling sick..... yeah, i'm prob gonna throw up." so i wander aways away and yep, let it all out. felt great after tho! but give me a break, the same thing happened in bball tryouts in high school. i'd had a whole bunch of orange juice right before and after running lines for a bit i had to step outside and ralph. i'm positive that had i not had any breakfast i would've been just fine. needless to say i felt like such a pansy! "ah, poor little guy cant handle a litte cattle branding. why dont you just step to the side and let us men take care of it." anyways, a little embarrassing but oh well. what can ya do?

Bald Heads and Sunburns

2009-05-25T13:04:00.004-06:00

sheesh, sorry its been ages since i've been on this thing. a guy gets busy ya know.... :)

so i shaved my head a couple weeks ago cause i thought it'd be nice during the summer months. plus i was beginning to feel like a bit of a pansy and needed an image makeover to re-establish my manhood. off the hair goes! didnt really like it at first to be honest. i thought "crap, now i have to wait 5 months for it grow back. not a mistake you can easily remedy." but the look grew on me, even tho my head hasnt seen the sun in years so it was a little pasty. a couple days later we had a softball game and then went to a park to enjoy the beautiful day that it was. ah yes, the perfect situation to get some rays on my dome! so for about 4 hrs i was out and about soaking up the u.v.'s

later that night.....

wow, my head is on fire. its a little sensitive to the touch. didnt think a whole lot about it. the next day at church i feel my head and notice some liquid. yes, my scalp was leaking a yellowish, nasty secretion that i didnt like..... not one bit. so for the rest of the day i kept wiping it off and was extremely self conscious about it. but maybe a cold shower that night and everything will be okay. not so. the next day i wake up to see my pillow case dotted with the slime. crap! and now i'm supposed to go to work and show everyone how sick i look? so i show my boss (i wore a beeny) and she told me to go to the health center cause it was probably burned really bad. i "head" over there and sure enough, the guy tells me its pretty bad. at this point the said discharge was hardening on top of my head and made it look like i had pieces of a yellow jelly beans stuck on it. so he tells me i now have a significantly increased chance for skin cancer cause its burned so bad. great, just the news i was looking for to start my week. i re-shape my image by shaving my head and am excited about getting some sun, now they tell me i may die by weeks end!!!

he gave me some cream and i'm on my way. the next couple days proceed much the same: head gets leaky, i wipe it off, then it hardens into something sick. eventually that gives way to the peeling. not quite so embarrassing as having liquid solidify on your head, but still not attractive. but finally, after a full week the dead skin falls off and my scalp looks normal again. sheesh, what an experience! never again will my little head be subjected to such excruciating nastiness! lesson learned fo 'sho

i would've taken pictures but i didnt want to have evidence of this sick grossness

A Story

2009-04-20T12:06:00.004-06:00

How I Finally Taught the Big Guy a Lesson

i did not provoke the fight, so i feel no remorse for what i was forced to do. we were arguing, and seeing that i was right and he was wrong, he decided to fight to cover for his stupidity.

he swung at me first, but being in the top of condition, i was able to act quickly and block the punch with my ear. whereupon i jumped to the ground, knocking him down on top of me. then i placed my ear in his mouth and poked his finger several times with my eye.

his teeth hurt so much from the strength of my ear that he became irate and tried to kick me but i cleverly blocked the onslaught with my ribs and face. i scrambled to my feet and ran to my car in hopes that i would get away and save this man from my deadly hands. before i could start the car, he pulled me from the still open door. i then proceeded to swing at him, but only managed to hit myself in the head. to this i said, "whats this? two against one?" that was the final straw- i lost all control. there will be no mercy!

taking him in my death grip, i pounded him in the knee with my stomach- then hit him two or three times hard in the fist with my teeth. he had had it! i could tell. after that, he didnt even try to pick me up off the ground. he was too chicken!!!

perspective is everything

New Purchases

2009-04-14T16:46:00.007-06:00

after more than a year of having to deal with crap phones, i finally upgraded my cell by buying one on ebay. the hearing went out on my old one so i always had to put it on speakerphone. as you can imagine that can get very old, not to mention very embarrassing when your asking a girl out and she says no, while everyone around you can hear the rejection. so my friend let me use his old (and i mean OLD) phone in the meantime. it worked well enough but considering it was the size of a brick and the features were circa 1924, i eventually grew tired of it. so i decided to look on ebay and buy the phone that i had before b/c i really liked it. and sure enough, for $25 i found the same phone in near perfect condition! oh happy day!!! i think i'll say that again, oh happy day!!! here she is:

while i was thus engaged in looking online, a thought occurred to me. "hey, i remember an old cartoon we used to watch that i have pleasant memories of. i wonder if i could find that on ebay." well what do you know, the powers that be on ebay were kind enough to grant me the desire of my thoughts for less than $5! i know most of you wont know what the heck this is, or why i was so excited to find it, but perhaps a few of you can enjoy happiness that is 18 of the greatest cartoons:

dont you just love it when you can find absolutely anything you want online these days? i do

RE: G-A-R-L-A-N

2009-04-09T00:34:00.003-06:00

it has come to my attention since........ well the beginning of my life, that my penmanship leaves something to be desired. so maybe i should say it has been reiterated recently that my handwriting is quite horrendous. in one of my previous posts i complained about how people misspell my name when i write it out for 'em right in front of their face. (again, i'm not mad about people mispronouncing my name, that wasnt the point).

but after reading brooke's comment: "maybe your handwriting was crap and she couldnt read it" followed by darek's "your handwriting is about the silliest thing i've seen" i thought about it some more and realized i was probably a bit too harsh on those who cant seem to spell garlan the correct way. and after pondering it some more i realized they were right. i cant write worth crap. i mean, i wish there was a way to post how penmanship looks on this so you can see what i, and they, mean. its horrible. there's no two ways about it.

so i'm clarifying right here and now that i was quick to put the blame on others when in fact that whole post could have been avoided had i paid better attention in elementary school when they taught that stuff. my handwriting has been bad for as long as i can remember. its been described as lightening hitting an ink bottle or chicken scratch. whatever you want to call it, its true. i once had a jr. high teacher say my signature looked like "sasalon ny". and i dont think it looks any better now

Unicyclists...

2009-04-01T14:04:00.004-06:00

really? is there nothing better a person can do with their time then attempt to try and ride one of these silly contraptions? there are a few things that i think make a person instantly and unequivocally socially inept, and they include:

1. re-using handkerchiefs (think about it, that's so gross!)
2. having the loudest laugh in the room and making it last about 2 seconds too long
3. riding unicycles in public, when other people are around
4. bacon-strips (sorry dad, but at least you finally figured it out)
5. riding unicycles in public and attempting to make it look cool by trying to do tricks

i'm sure there are more, but this list will suffice for my present interests. there are a couple people, obviously a couple too many, that ride these goofy wheels on campus. what on earth compels a person to have the thought that unicycles are cool, or even practical?

am i the only one with the thought that this guy needs to be punched in the face and have a club taken to his facilities? (thanks for that last one spence). but maybe that swing down low wouldnt do much anyway b/c he's clearly already lost 'em. a pink unicyclist...... can there be anything more gay? maybe thats why i dont feel bad when i see situations like this:

call me heartless, but i say they got what was coming to them

A Date?

2009-03-27T13:02:00.004-06:00

some people have told me about such a thing, and i believe i may have been on one in the course of my life. but please correct me if i'm off here- a date is when a male asks out a girl he is interested in getting to know better. they usually participate in a mutual activity (such as dinner) in order to share in conversation and get to know one another. at this point the male tries to impress said girl in order to hopefully get a second date out of it. part of impressing her is paying for the activity, not only his share but hers as well. he may try to seem witty and funny to make her laugh. he may try to share his intellect (if he has any) in hopes of coming off smart. these dates usually last a couple hours, depending on what activity is involved. at the end, if the male is feeling particulary confident, he may try to "get some" (this includes a hug, a kiss, a makeout...... and thats about as far as he can hope to get, ever). if all of the previous activities failed in his attempts to impress her, he will get no such action. altho most girls will provide a pity hug if nothing else.

this activity sounds simply enough. in all reality it really is an easy concept to grasp.
1. ask a girl out
2. show her a good time
3. if it goes well and the feeling is mutual, keep going out on more dates

so why is it some guys go on these dates seemingly all the time, while others find other ways to spend their time on the weekends? well i have a theory............. no i dont. but i have a story. last week a friend from back home told me about this girl he wanted me to take out. so i call her and we chat for a bit. i ask her to dinner, but she had to work that weekend, so i said i'd call her the next week. i leave a message the other day like i said i would, and get this text back a little bit later:

"hey! so random... i'm actually dating someone now. it just happened last night, so kinda sudden. anyway, sorry... probably shouldnt go out with you tonight."

man, rejected even before i had a chance to meet her! you know you've stooped to new lows when you get shut down for a blind date. but i held my head high and told her no worries, i understood, but appreciated her being straight up about it and wished her well.... blah blah blah. then she says this back:

"thanks. sorry, i was looking forward to meeting you! thanks for not being mad... take care yourself!"

and thats the latest in my (non)dating life. i'll share more of these stories since they seem to happen quite frequently. but alas, this is not a pity post. just thought i'd share since everyone always asks how my dating is going anyways...

Gyms

2009-03-18T14:07:00.009-06:00

growing up i had a gym membership to bally's (thanks dad), but that place is now shut down. who cares about a stimulus package o'crappa, give me my bally's back! not that there were any in utah anyways, but where am i gonna hoop it up when i go back home? anyways, thats not the point. i can still play ball at byu, but the weights i have no access to cause i'm not currently enrolled in classes.

(tangent) i've never understood why byu makes you pay health insurance (even when your not enrolled) but then deny you all the privileges of every other aspect of the school. $45 to use the weight room for the semester? rip off! $20 fee to play sports? a joke! why insure me when i cant use any of your facilities anyways? (end tangent)

so i popped my knee last year and it hasnt felt quite right since then. i go into the health clinic (thank goodness for said insurance!) and they tell me its probably just strained and weak, cause the MRI i got didnt show any tearing. they told me to just rehab it and see how it goes. ah, but there's the rub: where can i rehab it if i dont have any access to weights and such? i'm not going to pay $10 a pop to use the clinic. so i check out 24 hr. fitness, where they give you a month pass for free (stupid golds gym people were like used car salesmen). since then i've been going almost every day to try and get my knee better, which is working. but its funny to me to watch people at gyms. its been so long since i've gone to one i forgot what they're like:

once you get past the initial blast of smelling old sweat when you walk thru the doors, the next thing that hits you is the grunting and growling. ahhh, good to see you again muscle-heads! once upstairs you are welcomed (or horrified) by the sight of girls using the excuse of exercising to basically wear a bra and panties to work out in. then you see the trainers who go tanning every day, shave their legs, have a fro-hawk, and wear under-armor shirts that are 5 times too small. all these people are very un-scrumshrulescant to me.

once i get situated, i first put on my axe deodorant body spray and watch the girls next to me start sweating and hyperventilating. then i take off my shirt, and said girls begin passing out. then i head over to the weights and pile on as many as will fit. once lifting, said passed out girls start shaking and convulsing. then i wipe the one bead of sweat i have after 35 sets of 110 reps. then i flex in the mirror and said shaken and convulsed girls try and lift their heads to catch a glimpse. then i drop my towel with said bead of sweat and the girls begin a vigorous cat fight over who gets it. then i walk over to the desk and pay the fee for making another mirror break. then i walk out hearing the sobs of aforementioned muscle-heads as their self-esteem has just been smashed. and those are my experiences at the gym lately

wow. thats what you get when you start a post not knowing for sure where your going with it. very, very random and nonsensical by the time you get done

Blasted Cops

2009-03-17T13:50:00.010-06:00

you ever get stuck behind a person who insists on going 10 UNDER the speed limit? well if not, good land its annoying. and if your one of those people then get the haites outta my way when you see my silver bullet comin up behind you. anyways, so we had fhe the other week up in american fork. yeah sure, i'll drive. so coming back i get stuck behind this minivan that seriously is going 20 in a 35, and it goes on for like 2 miles. so i say "funk dis" and go ahead and pass 'em in the turn lane (it was on a road, not the highway) and speed off. i'm normally much more composed than that but a brotha can only take so much. i tell my roomates not to call me in for breaking the law like that. one flips out his fake phone and pretends to call in. no joke, less than 30 seconds later i see the dreaded lights coming on. dude, i JUST told you NOT to call!

i see the lights and try to turn left real quick so i can jump on some side streets and lose him before he catches up. but blasted traffic kept coming the other direction. freak people, get outta my way! cant you see i'm trying to cover my mistake by making a potentially greater mistake if i get caught!? well he catches up to me (as i'm sitting like an idiot in the turn lane) and asks for the usual. i hand him my info and he goes back to his car, while politely asking me to move over to the shoulder. (yes it crossed my mind to take off at this point, but he had my license and i didnt want to be caught driving without a license). at about this time the said van passes me, still driving at a walkers pace, and i feel really stupid cause i always make fun of those people that think they're so cool when they speed by you but then get pulled over and provide me with much laughter and finger pointing. but blast, this time i was the moron. anyways, he cited me for 51 in a 35, but was actually really nice and dropped it down to 5 over and recommended traffic school so it wouldnt go on my record. what a nice officer! so i sign the ticket thats "not an admission of guilt, merely a promise to appear" and peal out so rocks spew onto his car behind me and i'm on my way.

this marked the first time i've been pulled over in almost 2 yrs and the first since i got my new car. i suppose the $80 it cost for everything wasnt so bad. the guy at traffic school was actually pretty cool. it was only an hour and all he did was a question and answer thing where he talked about tazering people and such. needless to say i'm a reformed man. the next time i pass someone in a turn lane i'm going to slow down immediatley so i'm not caught for speeding...

my life's totals:
times pulled over- 10
tickets received- 6/10
scooters towed- 1
boots received- 2
parking tickets- 9
lessons learned- 0

G-A-R-L-A-N

2009-03-12T13:06:00.005-06:00

i've been called many things throughout my life, including but not limited to: garland (the most popular), gaylan, gavin, garlin/garlen, garlic etc. etc. over the span of my life i've become quite accustomed to correcting people (or just letting it slide when i'm too disinterested to care) when they say my name wrong. its a fact of life for some people. if you have a different name or one thats spelled uniquely, your going to have to correct people when you meet them for the first time, or the next 15 times if they're really dullards and cant remember. it doesnt offend me tho, i expect it. when i meet someone for the first time and they ask what my name is, i immediately start into the repeat of my name barely after i get it out the first time cause i know its coming

"i'm megan, whats your name?"
"mines garlan"
"sorr..... its GARLAN"
"oh okay.....blah blah blah"

this post isnt a gripe about my name, it really isnt. it doesnt bother me when people misprounounce it (except gaylan, never really appreciated that one) or ask what it is a second time. what i'm complaining about here is when people, morons i should say, misspell it when i write it out for them! or when i am telling them to their face how to spell it and i can see that they still write it down wrong. good land, is that hard to listen to someone when they're telling you exactly how to spell your name? or is it that hard to copy the letters from a form that person filled out onto your copy? i'll tell you what brought this on:

a couple weeks ago i got an MRI on my knee. i go into the office and fill out their forms, get it done and all that. then i come out to pick up my x-rays and see right on the front that they spelled my name g-a-r-l-e-n-d. what the heck is that? stupid secretary. obviously the a-n in the english language must have been switched to e-n-d without my knowing. i've been spelling my own name wrong for all these years and wasnt aware of it! give me a break, all you had to do was copy my info right over. i personally dont think its that hard, but apparently copying stuff thats right in front of you over to something else is pretty difficult

Things About Me

2009-02-16T17:25:00.011-07:00

10 favorite movies (not in order)

1. sandlot- "i cant take it no more!"

2. dumb & dumber- "she touched my leg!"

3. gladiator- "you knew marcus aurelius?"

4. casino royale- " first 15 minutes of movie"

5. nacho libre- "i'm sick a hearing about your a stupid orphans"

6. tommy boy- "holy shnikies!"

7. anchorman- "i thought you said this was a shortcut brick"

8. orange county- "hey, put that out... man"

9. top secret- "gasoline.... guh guh guh"

10. good will hunting- "i know its rated R"

10 favorite bands (same)

1. beastie boys- "i'm trying to tell ya'll its sabotage!"

2. offspring- "you gotta keep 'em separated"

3. rage against the machine- "since 15 hundred and 16"

4. green day- "nice guys finish last"

5. weezer- " if you want to destroy my sweater"

6. no doubt- "gwen stefani. need i say more?"

7. presidents of the usa- "we're not gonna make it"

8. franz ferdinand- "i want you to take me out"

9. the strokes- "dont be a coconut"

10. smashing pumpkins- "today is the greatest"

10 random things i like

1. grapefruit juice (puts hair on your chest. not recommended for women)

2. putting on a brand new pair of socks (if i died right after that moment i would be happy)

3. tommy girl lotion (i better clarify, i like it on girls. i'll know she's the one if she wears that)

4. when someone gives you a check for thousands of dollars (hasnt happened yet, but i know i would like it)

5. orange tic-tacs (if you dont like those, please stop reading my blog)

6. when someone speeds by you on the freeway and later you pass them as they're pulled over (just happened to me, only the reverse- that i dont like)

7. saturday morning when you dont have anything to wake up for (NO ALARM TO WAKE UP TO!)

8. getting in your car after filling up and seeing the needle go all the way to the top (so depressing when you see it start to move down. why cant it just stay up there?)

9. hitting the game winning shot and seeing the other team walk off the court (mccoy boys: ask me how that works and i'll tell ya)

10. when a bill or receipt is less expensive then you thought it would be (again, the opposite sucks just as bad)

5 more random things i like

11. pulling into a parking lot and someone right in front pulls out just as you come up (nothing more gratifying as someone else pulls around the corner and your already there with your blinker on)

12. when UW wins the pac-10 for the first time in over 50 yrs!!! (if they win the tourney i'm transferring)

13. when you wake up and there's a bright, blue sky outside (cali/az people you dont know how good you have it)

14. when your in a bad mood and one of your favorite songs comes on to cheer you up (or you purposely put it on to cheer you up, either way...)

15. thinking you missed a deadline but they're nice about it and let it slide (so be nice to people, they could end up blogging about it later :)

Communication Studies

2009-02-16T17:00:00.003-07:00

this past friday i received some good news. i was accepted to my major. since then i've gotten congratulations and good jobs and what not, but in all honesty i was fully expecting it. last year only 10 people even applied to the program. its not exactly the most prestigious major, seeing as how most people dont even know what comp. studies is (with me being one of them. its something along the lines of social behavior relating to communications in society. yeah, didnt really make sense to me either but i'm going with it).

anyways, i should be starting this spring semester and will pound it out in a year. finally! the end is somewhat in sight for this journey called a college education. i've only been here 5 and a half yrs. already and will be at almost 7 by the time i graduate.

"a lot of people go to school for 8 yrs."
"yeah, they're called doctors."

i'll also be starting school 2nd block this semester so i can get my job back on campus. being unemployed for over 2 months, as good as it sounds, is quite lame.

"want to go out this weekend?"
"what do you have going for you?"
"well i'm unemployed, in debt, and not in school right now."
"wow, you sound like a winner!"

anyways, so things are starting to look up. i'll have a job, be in school, and have a major to start working on this spring. the women are bound to flock to me like the salmon of capistrano now!

Really? Valentine's Day?

2009-02-16T16:45:00.004-07:00

lets get realistic for a minute here, something i'm not accustomed to doing on this blog. but is valentines day really a holiday? i mean, shouldnt it be called something like "men coddle over their girlfriend/wife" day? or "spend all this money on flowers and chocolate when all they really want is to hang out with you and have you tell them you love them (something you should be doing everyday anyways)" day? or better yet, "make single guys feel like crap" day?

this might sound a little harsh, and reasonable so b/c its a worthless holiday in my opinion. the things guys do on v-day to make their special lady feel important are things they should be doing anyways all throughout the year.

"here, let me spend $35 on some roses that will die in 2 days." or "here are some chocolates that i know you secretly want but will get mad at me for tempting you with them when i know your on a diet" kinda thing. i mean really, do we need a special day to do stuff like this for our womenfolk? i submit that v-day is more or less a wasted holiday. do the guys get a special day for the girls to spoil us? i think not.

but alas, you heard it first here: i've spent my last v-day alone! this time next year i'll be praising the wonders of valentines and the opportunity i have to spoil her. (whoever "her" is)

*in case you couldnt tell, i did nothing on saturday night besides watch the all-star activities

Park City

2009-02-12T14:18:00.009-07:00

last month i hit up the slopes with erin and rob when they were town for their annual ski trip. this is basically how the conversation went:

erin: "hey! we're up in park city, you wanna come skiing with us this week sometime?"

myself: "well, seeing as how i dont have a job and am not in school..... let me think about it"

(an amount of time later)

myself: "i guess as long as you dont mind a warren miller camera crew following me around all day i'm fine with it"

erin: "sure. we'll even cut some of the cost for ya"

myself: "great! i'm in"

i think all of the following pictures were taken by warren himself. apparently erin couldnt part with her goggles for the pic. apparently i should've put some on

moments later i pulled a 920 double-spliced, nancy-go-round, half kick flip, barrel roll, twisted sister, up-calibrated moon pike. it was pretty unbelievable looking, i'm not gonna lie

this was taken right before we went down a double black diamond. erin hasnt been heard from or seen since....

thanks for the invite guys! it was awesome!

The Utard Stare

2009-02-09T13:42:00.005-07:00

for those of you who have spent any time in the "great" state of utah, you'll know what i'm referring to when i say 'utah stare' (dubbed the utard stare by me). if not, i'll enlighten you the only way i know how: with severe sarcasm and exaggerated examples.

its funny how special people feel when they are in a car. (some background first). walking past pedestrians invariably means a downcast look or a glance the other way at whatever is over there. for some reason people cant seem to look each other in the eye when they walk past each other. byu? usa? world problem? i dont know. but it seems to me that two people walking past each other cant bring themselves to look the other in the eye. this is the background, and what makes the object of this post so hypocritical. b/c the opposite is so NOT true when cars are involved.

and that brings me to the utard stare. why the crap do people just stare at you as you drive past?!?!?! what on earth are you looking at?!?!?! they seriously just lock eyes on you and refuse to look elsewhere.

for example: your facing north in the left hand turn lane. you turn left, and the person facing east is in their turn lane to head north (figure out your directions people). so as your turning you drive right next to the person in their turn lane. and every time, they just STARE at you like they've never seen another person in their entire life. what can possibly be so intriguing? these same people who would rather look at grass or cement when walking past you on the sidewalk, now cant seem to take their eyes off you, for the simple fact that they're in a car.

i've a hypothesis: living in the age of technology we do (i'll post about this later), it seems provo has lost a little of its self-confidence. people can no longer talk to each other or enjoy a face to face conversation. impersonal means are now used to develop relationships. for this reason people cant look at you when your right there next to them. but when they see someone drive by they have no problem staring at them b/c there is no risk of actually having to talk to them. thus, the utard stare. they feel safe b/c they're protected behind glass and steel. but whatever the real reason is, i wish people would just glance if they have to, and move on. but its incredible. even after you make eye contact and they clearly see that your looking at them too, and way past the point of awkwardness, they continue to stare at you! (this is true of car to car eye contact and car to sidewalk eye contact).

i've now lost patience with these people. i've decided to employ my own stare. the mccoy DER stare. everytime someone feels obliged to stare at me as i'm driving i'm going to return the favor by making the DER face back at 'em. it may be a small thing, but i will do my part to rid this area of the useless and annoying utard stare. concentrate on the road people. thats probably why there are so many accidents in provo. "oh wow, look at him/her." (subconsciously deploy their utard stare). "look out!!!!" and thats that

The White Trashiness of College Life

2009-02-06T15:51:00.006-07:00

last summer i had a dresser. it was nice. it fit my needs. but i come home one day to find my clothes sprawled out upon my bed. seemed suspicious at the time cause i didnt recall leaving my clothes laid out on my bed when i left earlier that morning. but alas, upon some investigation and detective work i soon find that the dresser said clothes were in was now gone! hmmm, deep thought required for this one. (cue light bulb above my head and a look of discovery on my face). someone must have taken the dresser and tossed my belongings on my place of sleep! it was nowhere to be found. as i asked around, with pen and paper in hand, it was discovered that my roommates heard some people come in earlier and left with some stuff. well then, putting two and two together, i realized that "stuff" must have included the dresser.

but fear not readers! i had resources in high places, including friends who didnt have room for their dressers. so they let me use theirs. but then they had to go and make babies and move to a bigger place, thus requiring the presence of their dressers in their own home. now, instead of being placed on a bed, or the normal placing place for clothes, they were relegated to the floor. a grown man and i have to put my clothes on the floor! what an economic recession we live in is right!!! now the economy was directly effecting me and i didnt like it. not one bit. homeless in my own house! so after a couple days (maybe it was weeks, i dont know), i was assisted in my efforts to find a place of residence for the fabric which is placed on my body. and thats when this wooden structure came into the picture.

to most people this type of furniture would house a television, some dvd's, perhaps a few pictures on top, and maybe some electronic equipment on bottom. but oh no, not to this guy. i'm much more inventive. as a single college male, you make due the best you can with what you have. an extra entertainment center we had in our house now has to double as my dresser. we've reached all-time lows in our nation..... whats next, using chairs as bookshelves?!?!

editor's note: all donations made to "g. sterling's charity cause" can be sent to 542 n. 100 e. provo, ut 84606. thank-you cards will be sent in return

Washington Winterland

2009-02-06T15:39:00.009-07:00

now that is a beautiful sight. blue sky in washington!!!

a view of our house during the typical overcast weather. for once there was actually a white christmas on christmas day! (but we were in boston so we didnt actually get to enjoy it)

a close up of the "snowman." i suppose it looks more like an upright slug but it was the best i could do. in fact, i about killed myself trying to build this thing, it was so heavy! to describe: a bat for one arm, a broom for another. a scarf and military hat for head covering. tennis balls for eyes. ping pong balls for whats supposed to be a mouth. and a garden apron for body covering. so its not the most impressive thing you've seen, but it took a lot of work to make and i'm sure it'll last till july!

Basketball Hall of Fame

2009-02-06T14:44:00.016-07:00

the object of my mecca. the muslims can have their once in a lifetime trek to the holy land. this is my equivalent. armed only with my seattle sonics shirt i came. i conquered. and i was inducted.

dr. james naismith

the name itself exudes excellence. please remove your hats and bow your heads as we have a moment of silence for the man who, with his peach basket and leather ball, gave rise to the greatest sport ever invented

had i been born 20 yrs earlier, in brooklyn NY, to the couple of james and delores jordan...... this could of been my stuff behind a glass case

nooooooo!!! not the pit defense! no one perfected the art better than mchale himself.

heavy D goes up for the rebound, just about has it, and then...... whack! outta nowhere kevin comes with his pit hair and snatches it out of reach. another victim of the sweaty hair pits falls by the wayside

the most elusive question in the history of basketball: which one really is the greatest? larry legend, G$, or air jordan. the debate could go on for another century......

what hall of fame would it be without a tribute to the glove? i would give my firstborn daughter for that jersey. if you look closely you can see the reflection of the sonics shirt in the glass. what photography! (and i was kidding about the firstborn stuff..... mostly)

which one is the hick from french lick? i really cant tell, help me out here people. an exact replica..... except for the shorts, i couldnt go that far. why didnt they just play in underwear?

a little competition where we had to be the first to make a basket on each one of the hoops. i obviously had enough time to step aside, take the picture, put the camera back in its case, then went to the bathroom, retied my shoes, and still had time left over to come back and win the competition by 3 hoops!

by the time we left, the committee couldnt help but reserve a spot for the mccoy name. lets be honest for just a minute here. what other family has had such an impact on the game as ours? what other selection of siblings and parents has revolutionized the game and brought sheer joy to the hearts of children across the globe as those whose last name is spelled with the letters m-c-c-o-y? i submit that there is not another.....

Some More Beantown

2009-01-23T13:59:00.007-07:00

i cant remember what this building was, but it has some historical significance. one night we just walked around downtown and checked out some of the sights
a statue of George W. (no not bush, washington).
i just missed it, but right after i took this pic a crowd of PETA protesters tackled the man (dad) to the right for wearing animal furs. it was a little muffled but i heard him scream out something like, "it was only 6 sheep!.... ouch!.....umph...... ugh!" (they were pretty upset)

me and shars chillin on a pond. i heard it start to crack and told sharla she needs to exercise a little more. (which didnt go over so well)

now this was stinkin fun. brandon and cori sent 'cus a mini ping pong set (which we immediately took over and set up on the coffee table). many intense hrs were spent thereafter staking claim to "family mini ping pong champion." i think i lost to every single person there, including atticus. so i went and played with some blocks, you cant lose at that! (at least until 'cus came and knocked 'em over. that was the last straw. i went and cried until i fell asleep)

dad branching out with his musical talents, which now include guitar hero. he quickly reverted back to his high school days and started head-banging and ripped off his shirt yelling, "i need more black sabbath!" i never knew he had it in him

this is just a cool looking building

The Garden

2009-01-23T13:31:00.011-07:00

The House That Larry Built

our trip to the celtics game where they played the 76'ers. it was the last of their 19 game win streak before they lost. it was freakin sweet, its cool to finally go to a game where the team is actually good.

they turn off the lights and make the court green when introducing the lineups (as if you couldnt tell that from the picture)

what the crap is that chick looking at in the background?! DER!!!

ray-ray coming off a kg screen. pretty sure he pulled up and hit a 3 right then. if not, he should have. (he's my favorite player just so you know, and THE best shooter in the nba, sorry bart)

the group that went: shars, heavy-D, and pops.
look at that, sharla still has the glow of a missionary about her!

apparently nba teams have dancers they employ to help cheer on their team, akin to cheerleaders i suppose. i thought it such a unique sight i had to take a pic. haha, they were even dressed as santa claus! what a clever idea

Christmas in BOSTON

2009-01-23T12:52:00.016-07:00

they had some pretty rad churches out there and this is one of them. not sure who those goofy tourists are in front but they kept seem to be getting in all my pictures. horribly late i know, but i'm finally getting around to posting the pics from our trip out to boston for christmas. we met up with darek and his fam along with the parents returning from their trip of picking up shars from her mission in england. they invited me to go with 'em across the pond but i didnt want to create a david beckham-like hysteria to all my fans in europe. i'm kind of a big deal over there, with many leather-bound books. my apartment in london smells of rich mohogany as well. anyways, these are some of the sights and sounds of the trip:

they have some pretty rad churches out east and this is one of 'em. i dont know who those tourists are in front but they seemed to keep in getting in all my pictures

some winners trying to hit on shars in the subway. i dont know why but she wasnt having it.
"excuse me, do you like my hat and trenchcoat?"
"ummm, i think i have an ich behind my ear here, sorry i cant look at you.... ever"

there he is: the man, the legend, the myth, the womanizer. no, not me people. i'm talking about john harvard. (i actually have no idea if he was a womanizer, but how can the ladies not be attracted to those knickers?). i thought about transfering after walking around the commons at harvard U, but decided i didnt want another 'good will hunting' fiasco...

just go ahead and clog up the whole street people! geez, i'm trying to get a shot here and those same tourists jumped in front again

this is outside some famous store known for gurgling fish. yeah, it doesnt make sense to me either, but apparently they're the rage out there. lets just say i saw a pen on sale in there for $200. A PEN!!!

apparently mom had too much sparkling cider....

little atticus. what a stud. this was prior accident (sorry again amberli! i still feel bad about it)

what a trooper. this guy was in there most of the day and he barely made a peep

you can fill in the caption here

and here's the clan

thanks again for such an awesome trip darek and amberli and 'cus! it was a blast!!!

Thanksgiving in LA

2008-12-14T23:03:00.014-07:00

sorry its a little belated, but this is my trip down to cali to visit my brother jason and his family during the break. he's got 3 kids: luke, darby, and baylie. and a cool-as-they-come wife: brooke. as your about to see they're all a lot of fun to hang out with. i'm definitely glad i made the trip, it was awesome you guys! thanks for the invite!

darby on my shoulders, where she was for about 2/3 of the time i was there. i'll send you the neck bill next month brooke. JUST KIDDING!
not sure whats going on here, but mom in the back wasnt giving me any help. "your the uncle, fend for yourself!"
what a pass rush. get that weak sauce outta here luke! with darbs as my helmet (and faceguard/blindfold) he doesnt stand a chance of getting that past us
but he somehow did so i ran down field to intercept the pass too. what can this combo not do? i dont know why you look scared of the ball jason. maybe you should get off the field and leave the ball-playing to the big kids
this was the clan. mom and dad flew down from washington to join the festivities. the man to my left is superman from my "tres hermanos feo" post from a little bit ago

hopefully i'll see ya'll again soon!

ps. one night we played trivial pursuit at their friends place and afterwards brooke said that one of the guys there was the man who played Jesus in the Lamb of God video the church made awhile ago. since i shook his hand that basically makes me a celebrity now too...

My Bidet Experience

2008-12-11T11:11:00.002-07:00

WARNING: not for the faint of heart..... or bowels! haha

i dont know how many of you out there know what a bidet is (pronounced bi-day), and i didnt either until a couple weeks ago when my roomate asked if he could install one on our toilet downstairs. his text was funny: "dear garlan, would you be pissed if i installed a bidet downstairs immediately? its impossible to put one in upstairs. love fish." i had no idea what it was or how it worked, but i was inclined to acquiesce his request. before i go any further, allow me to explain how it works so you know what i'm talking about.

a bidet is a little nozzle or handle that sticks out from a toilet which squirts water onto your bum after you do your business (#2 of course). its like taking a shower but one thats totally confined to your cheeks instead of your whole body. is sprays up water, thus flushing out the nasty stuff and decreasing the need for toilet paper. very ingenious concept, which i guess other countries are quite the proponent for. us americans are lagging "behind" to incorporate this device into our bathrooms. nevertheless, i digress.

so you use this little handle and it uses the water pressure to spray "up there." upon hearing this, like most other rational people in this nation, i decidedly decided against the use of such an intruding contraption. i'll admit, i was straight scared to even try it! but after talking with my roomates and hearing them rave about bidets and how much cleaner they are and the money you can save on tp and all this and that, i tried to build up my courage to trust myself to this thing that could potentially harm me in ways i dont want to discuss. he told me to check the water pressure first b/c it was very strong. (great tid-bit to throw in there).

well first things first i need to do that b/c the last thing i want is to be blasted by a fire-hydrent while i'm trying to take care of business. and its a good thing i checked first cause i turned it on and it shot up all the way to the ceiling! that could of been me!! so i figure it out, say a prayer, do my doo, and close my eyes as i turn the knob to turn on the pressure that will soon clean me. or thats the idea.

WOW! what a strange sensation that was! i cant tell you how awkward i felt. i didnt know whether to laugh, cry, or call my bishop. never mind you the temperature of this water. it made me numb! i'm trying to wipe (old habits die fast) but i couldnt feel what i was doing. who knows if i completed the job. but dont worry, i timed my usage of this initial bidet experience for when i would be showering right afterwards.

ahhhhh, warm water..... feeling back...... urge to walk bow-leggedly rapidly vanishing...

but listen to me people. i think i'm converted. yes, i can hardly believe it myself. i've had the same routine for many a year now, and to just up and leave it all for something that feels so wrong at first.... well so be it. no more embarrassment of buying the crate-sized angel soft tp at wal-mart. the bidet works! it really does! after having used it a few more times since then, i have to say that i recommend it (every person should try it at least once in their life for comedic purposes if nothing else).

so after i put my stamp of approval on it i had to show some girls in my ward what wonders it could do. after ward prayer i showed it to one of them, trying to demonstrate how it works. i even said, "i hope i get this right. i cant remember how the pressure works." (thinking back on how disastrous my first attempt at figuring it out was). sure enough, i blast the water up to the ceiling again. luckily its clean water cause i'm pretty sure some got on her, and me. (haha, and i wonder why i'm not married- "here, let me show you our bathroom and talk about taking poo's and then splash water on you. great, lets go out this weekend!").

anyways, i apologize for the length of this. i know its a lot to read. but i wanted to try and portray this whole experience as accurately as possible. the point of it all is this: if you want to feel clean and refreshed after your #2's, invest in one of these and you'll walk away (or more of a shuffle after the first time) feeling like...... well i dont know how to describe it b/c its a weird feeling, i'm not gonna lie.

sidenote: i guess there are towels people use afterwards instead of tp, so i joked that now we could install one of those rotating machines (like you see in some public restrooms, the paper towels people use and reuse. very unhygenic) only with towels and reuse those! haha, i know. very gross

Heroic Haiku's

2008-12-02T17:02:00.006-07:00

okay so heroic has nothing to do with my post about haiku's, but i was going for a little alliteration and i think it did the part. for those of you unaquainted with this jittery joust of japanese jibberish...... wow, i really got carried away with alliteration there. let me start over: for those of you who are unaquainted with this japanese form of poetry (much better), allow me to introduce you and you can thank me later. haiku's are written in a 5-7-5 syllable format. for instance, my name (garlan) is two syllables. come on people, this isnt that hard to understand, just sound it out - GAR (one syllable) LAN (another syllable) bringing the total to two. (unintended alliteration there, i promise). so the first line would be a total of five syallables, followed by a line of seven, and then rounding out the three sentence poem with another five syllable line.

i bring this up b/c the other night we had the privilege of entertaining a few girls from our ward at our house. (a monumental occasion for us socially inept students of the female species). anyways, so somehow i end up in a haiku-off. yes, i just made that up and if its not a word then it should be. it started out simple enough- getting the form down, looking like an idiot b/c your counting syllables on your hand to make sure you get it right (that part never goes away tho), and trying to write something better than a third grader. over the course of a few impromptu ones, we decided on head-to-head competition. we would come up with a couple words that we had to use in both of ours, and then had the others judge whose was better. at the behest of the females, mine were unanimously chosen.... every time, with no exception, not deviating away, nor never-failing therefrom. i mean i was on a roll. "like hot butter on breakfast toast!" (thats a reference to a song and if anyone can guess what its from then i'll pay you in the form of personalized haiku's, many of them).

getting on with the story. by the end of the night, i'd gone from not having the slightest clue as to what that word was, to being a prodigy of the poetry. (alliteration intended). the girls were dooley (shout out to you terrence and kestlee!) impressed. they left our house that night muttering something under their breath to the effect of: "man, why did we introduce him to that? he smoked us! never in my life have i seen such ease with which he dominated the english language in forming words into sentences into haiku's that were before thought to be impossible. i cant believe he has such mastery over resounding rhymes, awesome alliteration, and sultry syllables! i know i'm crying, but i cant help it. i'm in awe of this genius and his ability to capture my imagination. the only expression my mediocre mind has capability of grasping is letting loose this salty secretion out of my flabergasted face." or it was something close to that, i couldnt quite tell since it was under their breath and their back was to me. but allow me to share what it was that brought these wonderful women to their knees begging for more:

A silent slumber
N'er the sleeping soul awakes
For death knocks each door.

i'll allow a minute for you to catch your breath........
need another? okay......
here's a tissue and a chair too.......

okay so perhaps this is all a bit exaggerated, but i just got going and couldnt resist. now for a challenge. for each of you who choose to read this post and comment, i want you to improvise one of your own and share it with me and others. dont be ashamed, for all cannot stand atop the mountain peak. but humor me if nothing else. happy haiku'ing! (one for the road there :)

Finals?...... Psh

2008-12-02T16:36:00.013-07:00

who needs to work on homework or study for tests or write papers when there is blogging to be done!? i have some time before interviews tonight so i thought i'd be cool and catch up on my blog and brought my camera with me to campus but promptly forgot the cord to transfer the pictures. idiot! but i have some catching up to do on other stuff so i'll get to that:

i've been doing a bit of reading the past couple months and these are some i've finished along the way:

A Thousand Splendid Suns - it was an interesting read but i wasnt terribly impressed with it. it talked a lot about the supression of women in the middle east and was more depressing than anything i'd say. altho i'm sure its a somewhat accurate portrayal of life for women over there, i dont think i want to read a fictional version of stuff like that. i prefer the real thing when it comes to history. but like i said, it was informative and interesting, but it took a long time to get going and tie everything together

The Great Apostacy - i enjoyed this book a lot, even tho its written by talmage who can be very hard to understand. its written in a much simpler manner and the format makes it easy to read. it goes thru all the stuff that led up to and incorporated the apostacy, mostly from a worldly perspective, which was interesting. he includes a lot of details most members of the church wouldnt otherwise know unless they studied it in-depth on their own. very informative and i would recommend it to any student of the gospel

Standing for Something - this is one of those books that every person in the world should read. i think if people would live the principles discussed in it then the world would be such a better place. we all know pres. hinckley had a great way of getting his point across without being condenscending about it, and he writes the same way. the values he emphasizes are simple yet effective. any person would be the better by implementing these virtues in their lives. a must read for anyone seeking to better themselves

Wow, it really is 4 am

2008-11-07T04:11:00.004-07:00

what the heck am i still doing up? this is ridiculous. simply uncalled for. i might as well stay awake a couple more hrs and go into work early. thats better than falling asleep for 3 hrs and then having to drag yourself out of a deep, comfortable slumber. it must be due to this lack of shut eye that i would actually post pictures of myself looking like (see next post). no person in their right mind should be awake at this outer-darkness hour. (get it? its dark outside and.... oh never mind)

well i might as well try and make something useful out of this post, but i'm not sure how coherent it will be. so here are some thoughts i've had the last couple days....

1. what will the next 4 yrs be like with barak hussein obama in office?
2. how long will prop 8 stay on the books before its brought up again?
3. should i really transfer to dixie state?
4. am i really going to get up for our football game at 8 am on a saturday?
5. am i really going to be up for the sunrise today?
6. is byu going to pull thru and beat utah for the conference championship?
7. what are peoples' opinions on washington state passing the assisted suicide legislation?
8. only one more week till quantum of solace comes out!
9. if the girl who just said i looked like matt damon saw the pics i just put up she would definitely think otherwise...
10. i am going to be so wasted for my midterm tomorrow (i guess it would be later today technically)

Ice Ice Bosworth

2008-11-07T03:54:00.008-07:00

you know, some things you'll look back on in your life and wonder: really, what was i thinking....
this could very well be one of those times. okay who are we kidding, it already is one of those times. needless to say i wont be employing the haircut services of a certain friend, as this is the second time a shaved head has had to be resorted to after his attempts at cutting my hair. his name shall be withheld out of respect, but its spelled g-a-r-r-e-t-t. altho quite humorous at the time, it quickly turned into: "wait, i'm actually going to have to go into public looking like this." i cant wear a hat to church and i'm pretty sure if i did show up looking like this the bishop would release me of present and any future callings in that ward without second thought. i suppose the fact that i grew up in graham is finally making its presence felt after all these years

Halloween '08

2008-11-06T16:28:00.015-07:00

dont ask me what i am cause i really have no idea. it was one of those "throw on what i have around the house" halloweens (as it usually is every year - some turn out better than others obviously). maybe a mix between an air traffic controller, coal miner, bum, football player (not sure why i have the liner under my eyes), and whatever else you think i may look like

these next pics would be a lot scarier if you've seen the movie (the Strangers) but trust me, this looks just like it. good work garrett. how creepy would that be if you looked out your window and saw that looking back at you? or just ask dan and carly (mostly carly, haha) and they can give you a firsthand account

Step it up Washington!

2008-11-02T01:05:00.004-06:00

this is the absolute worst time to be a sports fan in/from washington state. lets take a gander at what we have to work with:

1. Seattle Mariners
finished 61-101 this year, second worst in the majors

2. Seattle Seahawks
presently 2-5, no hope of turning it around this year

3. Washington State Cougars
presently 1-8, just got shutout 58-0

4. Washington Huskies
presently 0-8, just got shutout 56-0
*only winless team in college football

5. Seattle Sonics
finished 20-62 last year, second worst in the league
*dont freakin exist anymore!!!

need i say anything else? come on here people, this is a joke. who the heck do i cheer for? somebody, anybody. perhaps the Sounders? i dont know what else to do. i've never been ashamed to say i was from washington, but i dont have a leg to stand on when it comes to sports these days. at least there's nowhere to go but up from here. right? right......?

Tres Hermanos Feo

2008-10-25T19:25:00.006-06:00

WARNING: please turn off firewalls to view this post b/c content may be blocked for health reasons. (insert hazard label here)

here we have three contestants vying for "absolute nastiest attempts of facial hair ever known to have been attempted, much less caught on camera" ever recorded since mankind starting being intelligent enough to make fun of itself.

redneck #1

Jason "my life is never-ending constipation" McCoywhitetrash #2
Garlan "i'm trying to pass gas" McCoy

brownstain #3
Darek "i just relieved myself" McCoy

so lets hear it people. who would you vote for? all three are perfectly capable of taking home the coveted prize. but mind you, this isnt a competition you want to win. jokes, jabs, poke-fun-ofs, cut-downs, make-a-mockery-of-you, and zingers are all welcome in comments. we're mccoys, we can take it!

A Tale of "Two" Teams

2008-10-25T19:17:00.004-06:00

what is the difference between this picture....and this one?

if you cant tell me what the difference is then you're an idiot and should stop reading my blog. we're holding up #1 signs for one thing, we're all wearing the same shirt (which can only mean one thing), we have the game ball as part of our picture, and the most obvious give-away? we're all freakin GENUINELY smiling and happy! look back at the first pic and tell me one guy who is actually happy behind that smile. you cant do it. and if you do then you're an idiot and thats strike two. yes, we won softball. 'nuff said sucka's.
(shirt #3 in my collection i'll have you know. all i need is football to complete my historic dominance of byu intramurals. or at very least, averagely forgettable participation in byu intramurals)

Atticus' Blessing

2008-10-25T18:50:00.008-06:00

i know this is waaaay overdue, but i have to give some lovin to my latest nephew. this was at his blessing (as the post title suggests) up in salt lake with some fam that joined. he's such a stud little guy.

dad, mom, amberli, darek with 'cus, me, brandon, brinckley and cannonball. (not sure why only half are looking at my camera. they've obviously never posed professional before. not to brag or anything....)

yours truly with the man of the hour, tower of power, he'll devour.... okay sorry, i got carried away with the "momma said knock you out" lyrics. but the man of the hour part fits

what cute little nieces and nephews i have. thats brinks, only the most cutest little person i know. come on 'cus, you should know where to look by now, its been like 2 months since your first picture

this is what happens when you stay up all night visiting friends down in provo the night before. no, not girlfriends. cannon is rockin out to pirates of the caribbean while i catch a Z. (is that the beginnings of a mullet i see? yikes...)

Family Stuff

2008-10-25T18:28:00.013-06:00

this is earlier in the summer when spencer and darek and their families were in utah at the same time and so we all got together at a little park and enjoyed some quality family time together, as a family.

good 'ole ava, the great big sis and sis-in-law making everyone around her smile. except for porter of course. that man is going to win some poker tourney's i tell ya what

look at that stone cold expressionless demeanor. cant nothing faze that kid. cool as the other side of the pillow when camping in the winter time that one

this look seems more tolerant than anything from porter. a choke hold isnt enough for ava, she's gotta go for the heart as well and squeeze the air right outta him. little atticus is obviously occupied with much more exciting prospects, namely the grass

and here we all are as a happy family. darek with atticus on the left, myself and amelia, spence with ava, and sara holding stone cold porter. (i think my neck is permanently stuck in that position after having mia there for what seemed like hrs)

and what are you doing to yer boy darek? any hope for that guy having kids is right out the window... and at such an early age too. give 'em some room to breath! he's even looking down at whats going on: "why does my crotch hurt so stinkin bad? oh, my pops is man-handling me thats why." (take notes from sara, she knows how to hold a boy)

Anyone Want a Schrute Buck?

2008-09-11T11:30:00.004-06:00

well, i dont have any pictures to put up yet (i dont have my camera on me), but i thought i could add a little more flavor to this needy blog. these are just a few random tidbits, whathaveyou's, and surewhynots about the man, the myth, the juggernaut (gotta throw that in there!) that is G. Sterling McCoy:

1. i have an lsdlinkup account and actually got some p.t. from it one time (i dont use it regularly, my friend logged in the other day so it made me think about it)
2. i finally accomplished my goal of dunking in a bball game ('chocolate thunder' anyone?)
3. i woke up to the ringtone of "take me out" (not to the ball game) this morning
4. i need to watch and buy season 4 of the office soon (i like to wake up to the smell of bacon, sue me)
5. i about punched dan nielson right in the teeth for bringing up the "unmentionable sports franchise" (formerly the seattle sonics) repeatedly after my telling him not to
6. i will continue to wear sonics apparel at least once a week until seattle gets another ball club
7. if i could go to any other school it would be UW
8. i had a blueberry bagel this morning for breakfast
9. i like this quote: "show me a good loser and i'll show you a loser"
10. i have my foo-man-choo on my drivers license and in the ward directory (the man finally got to me, otherwise known as byu intramurals)

and here's a little something for ya'll to chew on. random question for the day: whats the air speed velocity of a coconut-laden swallow? (the non-migratory, or african kind)

Happenings of a Hobo

2008-09-10T16:58:00.005-06:00

so i guess this is my first post of being the big 1/4 century. sheesh, where does the time go? i'll tell ya where it goes: school, work, ward activities/callings, intramural sports, sleeping, women (not together tho), and sometimes a bite to eat here and there. life has a way of flying by dont it?

well not much to report on, other than what i just said. a post will soon come of my most recent experiment involving facial hair. never have i been one to claim the title of "world's most disgusting face with what looks like magic marker scribbled on it to make the appearance of a real man's hairy face," but perhaps i came close with this last little exploit. anyways, i'll post what pictures i have and see what ya think.

so yeah, sorry for not having anything on here for months. but i dont understand how you can get tired of reading about the j'nauts! such pimpness that name is. well random thought for the day: anyone catch the uw/byu game last weekend? i'm actually a uw fan at heart, but seeing as how byu is trying to go undefeated and all, i hoped they would win. which they did. i also hoped it was at least competitive, which it was as well. but what a crappy way to end it! let the players decide the game for once eh? stuped refs. they should get fined or suspended. use a little common sense and realize whats at stake, and use a little discretion in a time like that. its too bad byu dropped in rankings with a win, but its understandable. it shouldnt even have been that close, altho i'm glad it was. and if they dont go undefeated now i'm gonna be ticked. if they were to lose any game this year i would've preferred it been uw. and thats all i gotta say about that. more stuff to come soon

Juggernauts Baby!

2008-07-29T14:13:00.006-06:00

with my zen equivalent expertise in the game of basketball, i was asked to help teach the younger generation the x's and o's of the the greatest game ever invented. this was my squad. we came up with the name of juggernauts, b/c we're a force that cant be reckoned with! the girls on my team were really cool. i would always bet them that they, or i, couldnt make various shots. well, they got me a couple times and i had to buy them all ice cream. but it was fun, i would definitely do it again

they even came up with this little yell that we would do before every game. it went a little something like this:

"welcome to the train! ju-ju-juggernauts! choo choo!"

it was freakin tough. intimidate doesnt do it justice the absolute fear we instilled in the other teams when we yelled that. then we would do a little dance after. apparently i'm the only one who busted a move for the picture

Colonial Days

2008-07-29T13:58:00.007-06:00

so every 4th of july weekend they have this thing called colonial days in downtown provo. its a "reenactment" of the early days of the founding. this year our ward got asked to volunteer at it. being a man of great stature, i was asked to hold down the fort at the stocks. as you can see, i performed my job with precision. there was no crime committed that night which went unpunished. nevermind the outfit, i was a fearsome sight to behold. none dared break the law on my watch

"you do the crime, you do the time!"

these are the rest of the members of my ward that helped out. it was actually pretty fun. luckily we got the night shift so it wasnt so bloody hot as it was during the day. they had different exhibits you could check out. there's a pretty cool museum there with lots of original printing press stuff (you know, the guttenburg guy)

Stalk Me if You Dare

2008-07-25T20:30:00.007-06:00

i have this little calender that is full of helpful tips for what to do in any number of scenarios- including what to do when you get shot, fall in a subway, or have to walk thru a minefield. and todays little gem is entitled How to Deal with a Stalker (you people reading this blog know who you are!)

1. Firmly inform the stalker that if the unwanted behavior persists, you will take action
Threaten to contact authorities or a larger, stronger friend or relative. Be prepared to do so. Do not give in to any threats, and be ready to secure a restraining order or civil protection order if it becomes necessary for your peace of mind

2. Inform your family, friends, and co-workers of the situation

3. Keep a paper trail
Save any relevant letters, notes, emails, and voicemails - maintain a log or diary of your stalker's actions and report any unlawful behavior to the police immediately. Report phone calls to both the phone company and the police

4. Inform the authorities
Do not let fear of retribution stop you from taking action. Take legal action immediately

i wont mention any names (dani), but i've had, and do have, a few stalkers in my life. not only is it really creepy, but its also a little flattering. just think, someone thinks enough of you that they basically want to be you. i'll take that as a compliment. but the line has to be drawn somewhere. i presently have 18 restraining orders on various girls from my past. all i do is say hi to them and give a little wink and then they're stalking me! but on a more serious note, for any of you who may be wondering what to do with that person who peeks in your window at night, i hope this helps

ps. i can be that larger, stronger friend/relative if you need

Dead or Alive?

2008-07-19T11:16:00.005-06:00

sheesh, its been 2 months already since my last post? holy hannah montana where does the time go? i guess to get caught up, i'm still in school for summer term and i'm working at wymount custodial cleaning apts. yes, it really is as fun as it sounds. things are going good tho. its been a really busy summer. between school, work, my ward, intramurals, and other odds and ends life has been hectic. then you factor in ladies and well....... okay that list is no different with or without ladies in it :)

i apologize for not being better at writing on this. i'd be surprised if any of you still check this! but i have a few pics i need to get on here so expect something more in the near future. in the meantime, wish me luck on this test i'm about to take pretty much cold turkey!

A Thief Amongst Us

2008-05-19T14:13:00.003-06:00

i get home the other night to see a little pile of food on my bed with this note:

"here's a new box of cereal & bars. i'm so sorry for stealing your food. i thought that it was food that my boyfriend left, and i figured why not. he wont mind. however upon telling him he notified me that it wasnt his. so, sorry. please forgive me. i hope we can still be friends in the future. sorry to make you think your roomates are thieves. i assure, they're not. i apologize again for this rediculous mishap."

haha, i just had to laugh. pretty random but funny. i had no idea anything was even taken. i wouldnt have been any the wiser had she not left a note. but hey, i wont complain. she definitely overcompensated for what she supposedly took!

Another Wilk Lunch Conversation

2008-05-14T14:56:00.006-06:00

so there i am again, enjoying a peaceful lunch on campus. simply minding my own business, eating my taco bell bowreatoe. and what would you know? two older ladies come up and ask me if i wouldnt mind sharing a few thoughts on modesty for their young women. and if that wasnt enough, they had a camcorder to record it! sheesh, they're not messin around. so i oblige, again, and indulge them in their efforts to teach their jr. high and high school-aged young ladies the benefits of being modest, coming from a "cute byu guy," to put it in their own words. it went something like this:

"do you think girls should dress modestly?"
"absolutely. but only if they're ugly."

"what does it mean to you when a girl dresses inappropriately?"
"it means i need to get their number."

"how would you describe it when your date dresses immodestly?"
"i describe it as a good way to make other dudes jealous of my girls smokin hot bod!"

okay, so thats not what i said at all. actually, it was rather similar to a general conference talk. all i was missing was the pulpit and the floral decorations off to the side. after i was done all they could do was stand there with mouths gaping. i'm pretty sure it will appear on byutv and in the next issue of the ensign and new era. then it will be made into a pamphlet and distributed worldwide as the new "strength of youth."
anyways, all joking aside, it was kinda weird. i dont know what to say in front of a camera being put on the spot. to me its a simple matter of obedience. either girls choose to follow the counsel of our prophets or they dont. its attractive to me when a girl doesnt try to fudge the lines between whats appropriate and what isnt. yes i like a girl with a nice body, but i think its too bad when they think they have to use that in order to draw attention to themselves. that just tells me they dont have much else to offer, or they're not confident enough in themselves to use their personality to attract guys. with that being said, i need to quit eating at the wilk center so i dont have to keep doing these weird things!

On Guard!

2008-05-14T14:41:00.003-06:00

haha, what on earth!? who fences in broad daylight where people can see you and mock your activity? this is right outside my house and i had to capture the moment. its a guy and a girl and there they were, on the sidewalk having at each other. "have at you!" they were complete with masks and everything. the only thing they were missing was any amount of self-respect. i could hear them in my mind: "tis but a scratch." "a scratch? your arms off!" "no it tisnt." "well whats that?" "thats just a flesh wound." "you lie!" "come on ya pansey!"

Nature.........Goulet!

2008-05-14T14:17:00.030-06:00

i went up to mt. rainier a bit ago (with an unnamed girl) and oh my, what a beautiful site! i love this mountain. i prefer long distance shots but this is how close we were. it felt like i could walk on up to the summit right then and there. and then you look out across the cascades and you cant help but feel appreciation for the beauty of nature

this is taken from up on campus. i love sunsets. this isnt the best picture of one but i tried. sorry its a little dark. but i also wanted to show the difference in mtns. between utah and wash. i think utah mtns are quite ugly to be honest, whereas mt. rainier is simply gorgeous to gaze upon

Garrett's Wedding

2008-05-14T13:58:00.006-06:00

so my good friend garrett got married a couple months ago. sorry its taken so long to get these up here. we've been buddies since early high school and so its a little weird having him married now. but its fine, his wife is really cool and good for him. they fit well together. they got married Jan. 31st up in Salt Lake. it was a great ceremony and a fun day. this is me, him and tyler dunn - good buddies from back home.
i've always thought these poses are a little awkward. why hold her up? but i feel i did my part while maintaining a proper distance

My Sweet Place of Residence

2008-05-13T23:37:00.010-06:00

this is what my room looked like when i got there. not too much to it i know. in fact, you cant tell by these pictures but it was straight up nasty. cobwebs, dust, horrible placement of furniture, no working lights and so on. but just wait and see what i did with it...

wholla! (or however you spell that lame word). yes, quite the turnaround. i should be an assistant on extreme makeover: byu edition. i'm no interior designer, nor will i ever be. but lets just say some of us have a knack for things. one of mine? pimping out an otherwise dump of a room into a straight up lady-friendly abode. ya'll are welcome to come visit whenever you like!

Washington Rock Quarry

2008-05-13T23:15:00.012-06:00

for those of us real men, this is a job. breaking rocks with my bare hands? no big deal. smashing boulders over my knees? whatever. bending steel pipes between my fingers? come on. this is what i did the last few weeks at home. i started out at the bottom of the totem pole, but quickly rose thru the ranks to become president. when they saw how much i could do they had no choice but to throw money at me.

these pics show when i got soaked taking samples from the huge stockpiles they had so i could test them to make sure they met specifications. pretty tedious and unnecessary i say but oh well. so i had to jump onto these piles that use water to clean the sand and it collects at the bottom. i thought i could clear it but no such luck. i sank in up to my thighs. then the pile starts landsliding down as i'm stuck in it. of course these truckers happen to be driving by at the time and so they gave me a courtesy honk when they saw the predicament i was in. needless to say i drove home so i could change my pants and socks cause i was soaked. i wasnt going to go thru the rest of the day like that. but whatever, my chest was a lot harrier after working there - (harrier is a play on words, the guy who owns it is named harry)

To Smile or Not to Smile

2008-05-02T14:44:00.006-06:00

the other day as i'm sitting in the wilk enjoying a wonderfully delicious subway sandwich (i'm on the jared diet), this girl comes up and asks if i wouldnt mind taking a questionaire. uhhhh, yes but only b/c i'm not busy AT ALL at the moment. it went something like this:

"do you smile at people when you walk by them?"
"if i smile at you right now will YOU keep walking?"

"what % of the time would you say you smile or are smiled at?"
"what % of the time can a man sit down and enjoy his lunch w/out interruption?"

"what does someone smiling at you mean to you?"
"if ya want my body and ya think i'm sexy, come on shuga smile at me..."

"why do you smile at other people?"
"if i want their body and i think they're sexy, then i smile at them!"

"mmmm, that sandwich looks good, 'can i have some'?"
"LAY OFF ME I'M STARVING!"

-(girl runs away screaming). a man cant even satisfy his man-hunger anymore without being pestered by questions about why, who, what, where, when, how people smile. i smile cause i'm nice and i think its courteous okay? and when people dont smile back i put 'em in headlocks and staple the corners of their mouth to their cheeks so they wont forget to smile next time! take that answer to your next class period. smiling should be a common courtesy and unless you only have gums to show, everyone should smile more often!

I-15 Woes

2008-05-02T14:17:00.006-06:00

inspired by brooke's post about traffic jams i figured i could throw in my 2 cents. yesterday as i was headed up to my class in salt lake, i run into thanksgiving point and quite literally a 40 min wait. i was about to blame the stupid jazz bball game for the hold-up, but realized it was an accident (the jazz didnt even play last night). driving by i see the top of this car totally cut off, meaning the jaws of life had to of been called in. so then i felt bad and hoped someone hadnt been really hurt. all in all it took me an hr and a half to get to salt lake, making me way late for my class. but the teacher understood and was fine with it. sweet! finally a break. come to find out, my teacher is the sister of one of sharla's old roomates (katie - you remember her cori?)

but what made things worse than merely sitting in traffic with the sun beating down on me is that i didnt have my ipod in the car at the time, so i'm stuck for 1 1/2 hrs with nothing to listen to! cause utah has such sucky radio stations. "arty fufkin on your radio!" oh man i hate that guy!! and thats all i have to say about that....... (cue hot girl screaming my name and running up to me)

G. Sterling 101

2008-04-30T12:31:00.011-06:00

since its been so long since i've really done anything on this blog, and with the fact that i'm back in school, i thought i could give ya'll an update on whats a-happenin in my life and get you familiar with me again. i know how everyone loves lists so here it goes:

1. i turn 25 this summer and am actually kinda nervous about it
2. i'm taking comms 211 (up in salt lake - lame making that drive!) and eng 315
3. i'm hoping to get a degree in communications with a minor in business and graduate Dec. '09
4. i miss my little sister
5. i think i finally found a place to live this summer, with my own room maybe!
6. i am a pack-rat and need to get rid of a lot of stuff. anyone else think along these lines: "oh, i may use that somewhere down the line in my life, i'll hold on to it just in case."
7. i cant wait to teach little Grady how to play bball (my future stud-son)
8. i'm very, veeeeeery disappointed in the nba playoffs so far
9. i'm grateful for the past 3 months i had to live at home
10. i had a very hard, but necessary past 3 months
11. i really enjoy writing (and i do keep a journal)
12. i lost over 10 lbs being at home (its sad when every single person you see coming down to school, guys included, comment on how skinny you look)
13. i cant sleep in past 9 anymore, which is actually a good thing for me
14. i'm not sure how to handle the present girl situation in my life
15. and finally, i made the drive down here in 12 1/2 hrs, the fastest i've ever done it! (sure beats the 22 hrs it took me going home)

i'll post some more details here in a bit to keep you updated, but this is just a random list of some things lately. its going to be a busy, but fun summer. i'll be working during the day and taking night classes mon thru thur. it'll help me not be lazy and prioritize what i really need to get done at a given time. so wish me luck!

OKC "Sonics"

2008-04-20T21:44:00.005-06:00

with the news of nba owners' approval for the relocation of the seattle sonics, i had to let out my inner anguish somehow. then i came across this little gem and thought it appropriate, even tho its like 2 yrs old (i'm a bit behind with the pics as you can tell, but i'll do better with getting more recent ones on here). and i also put it up for the fact that shars bars lars cars gets no love on anyones blog anymore, so i'm trying to include her (you can thank me later sista mccoy).

as it turns out, this is the last sonics game i'll ever have the chance to go to. i hope your happy clay bennett, and i also hope that somebody breaks both your kneecaps with your own head! as much as i've complained about moron management and mediocre teams in the past, they've always been my sonics. but now they've been torn from me and my eyes wont stop leaking...

Bro's Before..... other people

2008-04-20T21:29:00.005-06:00

i had to follow up the last post with a quality, feel-good one so as to not offend the parties involved with the last picture. you really want to know what makes this picture so great? no, not the guy on the far left - altho that is a really good reason. what makes it so great is the fact that both brandon and i are showing affection for our fellow brother while he makes no attempt to reciprocate! where is the arm around my shoulder? why are brandon's shoulders left unattended? i feel shafted, unloved and utterly cold inside. haha, jk. i didnt even notice that fact until i put the picture on here, so then i had to comment about it.

The 3rd and 4th Best Players in the Family

2008-04-20T21:09:00.009-06:00

haha, this picture just makes me laugh. first of all, how the heck can you not block him darek? he's like half your size! and second, how in the world did either of you even get into the gym? that place is reserved for real ball players, not wannabes from off the streets looking for shoots and giggles. this is an ugly shot against ugly defense - with two ugly guts in between. okay that last one was a cheap shot, but not everyone can have a 12 pack like yours truly, (see the latest copy of Hottest Bods in the Universe for proof). anyways, to make my blogging comeback i must start out with some true trash talk. this coming from the man who just tweaked his knee so i'm not playing at present. but even at 25% i'm still 100% better than both of you combined!

-so sorry its been forever and a day since i've been on this thing. i promise i'll do better from now on. (oh and for your notification: all nasty pics and posts have been deleted. this is a G-rated blog from here on out. - you like how i thru in that G reference? man i'm clever!)

Back to School! (kind of)

2008-01-26T15:06:00.001-07:00

christmas break this year was kinda small, but really good. just me and the parents back at home. mom's favorite joke christmas morning was "its time to do stocking." (notice the singular). but it was really relaxing and nice. went over to spence and sara's that afternoon. this was taken the morning i took off to drive back.

i got a digital camera so now i can take all kinds of sweet pics i take and not just random ones off the internet!

so driving back thru oregon and idaho we hit this huge tumbleweed. i didnt even see it. the girl sitting up front screamed and i look over to see this brown thing crash into my car. luckily it wasnt anything worse. and not wanting to pull over and take it off, i kept driving with it as a sweet hood ornament for like 40 miles. that was the most exciting part of the trip. the weather was really crappy. it was either snowing, blowing 65 miles an hr, or raining oceans. but we made it back okay.

New Years Day '08

2008-01-26T14:26:00.001-07:00

so this is what i decided to do to ring in the new year. thats right, freeze my rastafarian ney-neys off! me, spence, paul, bro. egbert and his friend went water skiiing at 9 in the morning. to put it in perspective, the air was 40 degrees and the water was a whopping 41 degrees! i have never been so cold in my entire life - no exaggeration. i couldnt feel my fingers for hours and my feet felt like ice blocks the whole time i was in the water. crazy cold i tell ya. if you cant tell, the writing on my sweet, hot pink wet suit says "ski warm." haha, yeah right!

first pic: i think thats spencer trying to do who knows what. i'm pretty sure he crashed
next: spence took it kinda hard, i had to warm him up with my body for like 40 min.
next: that hot water dispenser saved our lives. no joke, it was amazing
next: "what the H am i doing this for?!!!"
next: all the MEN who went trying to act not cold (i'm officially a man after doing this)
last pic: thats not me, but it easily could've been. my height was 25 ft. off the water

Another Halloween Pic

2007-12-18T13:52:00.001-07:00

as promised, here is another beauty from the days of yesterday months. haha, oh my gosh i'm laughing out loud right now just looking at it. here's a quick story: one of the parties we went to i went up to a group of girls and gave them a big hug and started dancing with them and what not. as soon as i put my arms around them they jumped back and i heard one of them say "it touched me!" i had to turn around and leave i was laughing so hard. "it touched me," what does that mean?

(its a tennis ball people, come on!)

Halloween!

2007-11-13T13:08:00.000-07:00

yes i know its a tad late, but i had to get this up here. in case you cant tell, i'm the man posing with the cape...... no i didnt dress up as a girl if that was your initial thought. this isnt the best picture but i'll post the others when i get them loaded on here (not sure how to do that yet). i went as nacho libre's brother (insert cool name here, i couldnt think of one). anyways, these chicks took this pic while i wasnt looking. sneaky little devils. had i known i would have put on a little show for them, like my infamous hip swivel dance. which would have been great b/c along with my costume i had a strategically placed tennis ball. like i said, this picture doesnt do it justice. well i hope ya'lls halloween was fun and exciting, cause mine sure was!

Tru Blu Football

2007-09-20T13:53:00.000-06:00

i guess every year, during homecoming week, they have this thing called tru-blu football. (why they pick blue i'll never know). so some friends asked me and my roomate matt to come play. i'd never even heard of this much less played in one. but it was pretty fun. they put out this foam stuff, kinda like shaving cream, and everyone runs around and plays in it. they try to play football games but so many people run thru the field that its hard to control. i woulda had 2 touchdowns if these moronic people would get off the field! anyways, so this stuff gets all over you. i was resistant to dive into it, but eventually they wore me down and i went on the slip-in-slide they had set up. i took off my shirt, tied it around my head and went down. sad thing is i lost my freakin shirt! it came off going down the hill and i couldnt find it. it was the same color as the foam stuff so it was near impossible to find. and there i am, walking around in my wife beater all dirty and nasty. luckily they had free shirts so i was able to put that on. (not that i'm ashamed of my exquisitely cut bod). all in all it was a good time. definitely a freshman activity tho. i'm pretty sure i was the oldest one there by at least 5 years.

Our New Purchase

2007-09-20T13:28:00.002-06:00

okay, so i renig on my earlier post about my next big purchase being a bookcase, garrett already has one that will serve for the time being. call us impulse buyers or die-hard byu fans, but the other weekend when byu played ucla, all we had to watch at our house was an old, 25" screen tv. no good at all for quality sports enjoyment. why not splurge and get something useful? so we go to the store and pick out a nice 50" samsung flatscreen and go in together on it.

ahhhhhhhh, beloved sports, now i can watch you without binoculars once more!

but for true entertainment to be enjoyed, one needs a system to go with. alas, thats where a surround sound setup comes in. so we buy that too. ooooooohh, that little puppy purrs. anyways, so we buy it that same day hoping to cheer on our cougars to victory in style. but to no avail, they lose. then they lost the next week too. then last night the sonics were on an nba classics game, but they lost. anyone getting the hint here? not me, i'm keeping the tv dagnabbit! besides the fact that the chicas dig it. how can a man properly invite a girl over for a movie, expecting to make good on extracurricular activities, when all you have is a puny little thing some might call a tv? but now we're good to go. and to top it off, garrett already had a surround system and a projector, so we set that up in our room! yes, a projection screen and surround sound in our very own room, along with a pimp tv and surround sound upstairs. i'm getting so excited talking about it that i want to go home and watch a movie right now!

now i know what your thinking, why make such an investment at this time in my life? there are other things much more worthy for that kind of money. but i like to think of it this way: its my investment in the future. i'm bound to get married having a setup like this.

if you cant woo 'em, wow 'em. thats my whole philosophy!

Utah State Fair

2007-09-20T13:16:00.001-06:00

so here's what happens when your friends either get married or have girlfriends - you go to the fair as the 5th wheel. yes, pretty lame indeed. but i just love sitting in the back seat listening to my roomate make out with his girlfriend. who wouldnt want to be subjected to such joy?

"hey garrett, do you know...... (plug in make-out sound. i know you can cori cause you and brandon make out all the time! haha) "oh, i'm sorry. didnt realize you were busy."

doesnt that just sound like fun and enjoyment to the extreme? it was pretty fun tho. we saw a 13 foot gator that was pretty cool. they asked for volunteers to try and wrastle it.

"anyone who can put this crock in a headlock without getting a limb lopped off gets to ride the ferris wheel for free."

shoot, i'm all over that. anyone remember happy gilmore? thats what i did to that poor thing. it didnt stand a chance. the ferris wheel ride was awesome!

it amazed me how many people come out of the woodwork for fairs. i'm so used to provo that seeing other kinds of people is surprising. no joke, it was 60% white trash, 35% mexican, and 5% normal people. the 5% being me and the four people i was with. good times tho. i kept telling people that this fair sucked tho. i'm used to the puyallup fair, which is quite a dramatic increase in quality over the utah state fair i'll say. come on people, "do the puyallup!"

Back at BYU

2007-09-20T13:04:00.000-06:00

this is kind of a crappy picture, but for those of you who went here i'm sure it will bring back some nostaglia. i'm still getting used to going to class and walking around campus. i feel like a freshman again.

"excuse me, do you know where campus is?"

"you're on it moron!"

"actually i'm mormon, but thanks anyways."

its pretty funny running into people i havent seen in a year. i erased a bunch of phone numbers from my cell cause i thought i'd be transfering, so now i get all these texts from people i dont know who they are.

"hey so your back at byu? i just saw you."

"yes i am, and sorry, but you are?"

no response. so i have my roomate call the number to find out who they are. why do people get so offended if you erase their number? i dont like to be cluttered and my cell phone is no different. if i dont think i'll talk to you again then i'm moving on. no sense in scrolling thru 134 numbers if you can whittle it down to 45. anyways, its good to be back and i'm enjoying myself.

Devotional

2007-09-20T12:58:00.000-06:00

this week Pres. Hinckley was the devotional speaker. i usually dont go to them to be honest, but whenever an apostle/prophet comes i'll attend. my roomate got their early and saved some seats so i was able to be closer to him than i ever have been. its so amazing to see the prophet in person. its almost as if we think of him as so far away and untouchable b/c we always see him for conference or what not, but rarely see him in person. its incredible the spirit he brings into the room. everyone gets quiet and stands up when he enters. he spoke on the 13th article of faith and it was great. i dont know as i'll ever get the chance to see him again, he was looking his age. thankfully he hasnt lost his sense of humor (he put a piece of paper over his face and squinted b/c the lights were shining right in his eyes - they later turned them down). definitely one of the perks of going to byu..... seeing the leaders of our church up close and personal!

Nasty Bugs

2007-08-19T23:59:00.000-06:00

the other day me and reagon saw this huge cockroach next to the garage door. so i tossed it in the trash. the next night i saw one (it had to be the same one) next to the same door, so i again tossed it in the trash. later that night, i see this big cockroach in my room, right above my bed! (it had to be the same one). so i sucked it up with the vacuum and thought that was that. this morning i wake up and see a dead, huge cockroach in the kitchen, not far from where the vacuum is kept. (it had to be this same cockroach giving every last ounce of energy it had to terrorize me!). so this time i made sure it was dead and tossed it in the garbage. later that day i again found a dead cockroach, altho not quite as big - it was big enough, in the living room. i vacuumed that up as well. i'm not sure where they're all coming from, but i better be careful walking out in the garage at night so as to not step on one. i see them scurry when i turn on the light. but now i just hope they dont fall on me from the ceiling while i'm sleeping and lay eggs on my face! nasty things....

Tales of Sitting

2007-08-19T23:10:00.001-06:00

so this past weekend, while erin and rob were out for their aniversary, i stayed at home and watched the little ones. what an event. i thought i was pretty well prepared to become a parent myself farely shortly - due to the extended amount of child activity i've had with kids in my life. haha, a newfound respect for full-time parents is now had by me. and definitely a profound admiration for those that go it alone. i felt like a single dad. at church everyone was asking: "so is your wife out of town, or did she pass away?" none of it people, i'm an uncle! (upon hearing this they offered me money and gifts but i accepted nothing).
what a change of lifestyle i tell ya. no more sleepin in till 12 pm, going to the gym whenever i want, or even alone time. i have responsibilities people! mouths need to feed, clothes to change, toys to pick up, dinner to prepare, kids to entertain, and diapers to hide in the parents bedroom. sheesh, who knew such was parenting?! but alas, this was only temporary, and the owners of the little ones came home. welcome back!
so at the beginning, upon hearing they would be watched by their uncle for the weekend, the kids' reaction went from this:

to them thinking of me like this - SuperUncle! oh yes, not only did my physical stature change and adapt to endure the responsibilities of extended babysitting (known as parenting to others), but my mental, emotional, and pyschological capabilities expanded as well! i tell ya what, if this was the change for only taking care of 2 kids, i cant wait to see what i look like with 5 kids of my own!

Changes Are a Comin

2007-08-19T22:32:00.002-06:00

only 3 more days of grind-it-out-everyday work! no more desk job, no more clocking out for lunch, no more "i dont want to be late again" worrying. (but then again, no phat paycheck either!). cant say when/if i'll be back at work for ion solutions: a business solutions provider. maybe next summer? after an 8 month hyatitis from school, i'm actually kinda looking forward to going back. okay, so i'm not too excited about the homework, but the college/campus life i am excited for again. so see ya later trusty desk, pens, computer, paper, fax machine, scanner, white-out, post-it notes, and swivel chair. i'm off to get a degree!

but first i'm off to the great evergreen state of washington for some fun! cant wait to see green trees, lush forests, beautiful - the most beautiful - mt. rainier, and endless other things to enjoy about my home state. oh, and family will be fun to see again too :)

and then its on to this kind of stuff! piles of books to read, NO desire/energy to read them, and endless papers to write and questions to answer! isnt school the best?!

24

2007-08-01T11:06:00.002-06:00

my first post of being 24! good heavens i feel old - i have to say i'm in my mid twenties now. anyways, thanks to all of you for the well wishes and phone calls and what not. i heard from all my siblings and my parents! what a great day. went out to lunch with erin and rob, the co-workers got me a cake, i walked the dogs, played some bball, then walked the dogs again. what a life eh? after all that excitement who couldnt help but crash on the couch? good thing little vienna here was just as tuckered as i was. sneaky erin snapped this shot while we were passed out.

thanks again you guys, you're the best!

Tales of Dog Sitting

2007-07-27T12:17:00.000-06:00

with david and jessica going out of town for this next week, they needed someone reliable and trustworthy to keep watch of their 2 boston terriers - mack and scout. who has no life and loves dogs? well that would be me, so i'm the perfect candidate! (the lover of dogs part is false tho). but they're pretty good canines i suppose. as part of the routine i have to take them out for walks - something about animals needing exercise too i guess. and since its an apartment complex its the "dooty" of owners to clean up after their pets' messings. i'm no different, seeing as how i'm the quote unquote owner of these dogs for the next 6 days. like a good pet owner, i take "my" dogs out for walks. and just like proper dogs should, they poop. the thought crosses my mind: "to clean up poop, or not to clean up poop." should i let it sit their for a helpless child to wander into? or for an unsuspecting tenant to mindlessly step in it and track it into their home? of course not! who would "doo" such a thing? not i said garlan. so with my handy dandy pooper picker-upper plastic pouches (say that 10 times fast) i scoop the poop. now lets be honest for just a moment shall we? who likes the feel of poop? again, certainly not i said garlan. in all reality, its a rather unpleasant feel. but since i am an owner now, that is part of my adult responsibilities. but alas! a solution! instead of having me pick up their waste, why not make the ones responsible for the mess clean up after themselves? why, thats a grand idea garlan! and after 2 trys i finally trained my little pups to do just that. now instead of me doing this:

they're doing this:

atta boy doggies! now if i can just get them to stop stiffing each others butts....

Last Christmas

2007-07-18T09:25:00.000-06:00

so these pictures are quite old (from our ski trip to montana last year) but i just found them and thought i'd put some real pics on here for once.

weirdos. i'm glad they're not my fami....... wait, i cant say that.

mom's passed out from the half-pipes. she was tearing up the slopes!

what, too cool to make a face vienna?

Ahh, finally. a decent looking one

Der!!!

honestly, what are you looking at!?

My Latest Read

2007-07-07T01:32:00.001-06:00

this book, "American Gospel", talks about the founding fathers and their commitment to getting this country started off on the right foot, and the role religion played in that process, along with how its affected american culture since then. it was interesting to read about how divisive religion was, and still is, in our country. it was also cool to realize how amazing the founders were. they were such brilliant men and did so much to make sure america turned out as it should. but i was a little disappointed in the overall feel of the book. it seemed the author spent a lot more time saying the founding and the fathers wasnt/werent necessarily christian. he brings up the idea of america having a "pubic religion" as compared to being inclined towards any one religion in particular. while i agree with the fact that they tried hard to create an appeal to all - a public religion, and to keep separate church and state, i dont think i agree with the founding not being christian. he even states that most of the founding fathers themselves werent christian. if that is true, why then did they appear in the temple to pres. woodruff and ask for their work to be done? i believe they were devout men of God who may, b/c of political reasons, not been very public about which religion they personally professed in. but it was a good book and made me think more about religion in our country and how its played a key role in shaping us as a nation. so while we may fight over things today like prayer in schools, removing the 10 commandments from courthouses, or saying the pledge of allegiance, our counrty is still very much founded on a belief in God.

(dont get me started on those debates. i feel very strongly about keeping God in the public. we shouldnt change things simply b/c a minority feels that saying the pledge of allegiance at school makes them uncomfortable. dont say it then! when we remove God from our country, we remove His blessings on us).

A Confused/Upset Fan

2007-07-07T00:46:00.000-06:00

am i the only one that doesnt understand what the crap this new guy in seattle is doing? leave it up to a former spurs gm to mess everything up when he gets here. fire everyone in the front office and all the coaches, trade or let go your two best players, threaten to leave the city, and do every other moronic thing you can think of. yeah these new guys are good, but i just dont get it. who in their right mind would get rid of the two guys on the left for the two ones on the right? idiots! absolute stupidity is all that is. i'm on the verge of saying good-riddance to the sonics and hoping they leave town just so some other city and their fans can put up with such a poorly run operation. now i understand the majority of my blog readers are women, so you may not understand all this - why the big fuss over a sports team. but we mccoy boys take our bball very seriously. and when it comes to our team, it is a matter of life and death. i go from complete elation a month ago when i heard seattle would have the #2 pick in the draft, to complete mystification now after whats been going on since then. they trade away my favorite player and then lose the only other veteren that was on the team. then they hire a retard spurs assistant coach as the head coach. i'm really wondering what can possibly happen next: they change their mascot to a butterfly?

is squatch the only thing left worth cheering for in sonics sports now?

Cartoons Anyone?

2007-07-06T23:50:00.000-06:00

so after viewing Transformers this past week (pretty good movie actually), it made me think back on my favorite cartoon as a kid. transformers was a tad before my time - spencer, darek, and jason were more transformer fans, along with thundercats - but by the time i was rolling out of diapers, The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles were just rolling into cartoon dominance. i know putting this post up i'll receive the usual hazing from the likes of darek: "after you posted this you probably went back to your room and played turtles by yourself for 3 hours." or from spencer: "dad just told me that garlan made sure his turtles were still in his closet so he could pass them on to his kids." but i'm man enough to stand up for my toys. true it is i played with ninja turtles quite beyond the normal age range for kids to play with action figures, but i regret none of it. anyways, i thought i'd fill ya in on what i did, a lot, in my growing up years. and after lengthy debates with reagan about which ninja turtle could beat up which pokeman (mine beat her wimpy japanese-made creatures every time), i decided to share the magic that is. from shredder to splinter to april o'neil to casey jones to rocksteady to bebop its simply the best cartoon ever. and just for the record, i challenge you to name one super-hero that could take any one of the turtles. (cant be done). Turtle Power!

Leonardo: blue is his color and the mighty sword his slayer. he was my favorite

Donatello: purple as his color and the bow his beater. he's the brains of the operation

Michaelangelo: his color is orange and weapon of choice is the nun-chuck. he's the "surfer" personality type

Rafael: his color is red and his weapon of choice is the sci. moodiest of the turtles

Arrested Development

2007-06-22T00:13:00.002-06:00

please allow me to share this with you. i hope at least some of you have heard of it, that will make my trying to describe its funnyness to you easier. i borrowed it from dave and jessica hawks and now i'm hooked. it only lasted for 4 seasons and i've already gone thru two in a week. i guess that means this little love-affair doesnt have much time left. nevertheless, i feel obligated to pass it on. its about a dysfunctional family. and thats really all there is to say about it. if you like "the office" then i think you'll like this show. it has a lot of the same awkwardness to it as well as the same goofy kind of characters. if you ever get a chance, check it out. you may be thoroughly offended and question my judgment in humor, or you will simply adore it and want more and more. either way, the choice is yours - as well as the blame if you dont like it........ cause it was your choice. but the credit if you do like it? i'll take that since i introduced you to it.

this is the brother in law of the family. he's a back up for the blue-man group, hence the color of his skin. he's also a "never-nude", meaning he's always wearing these redneck-like, cutoff jean shorts , even when he showers. his character is pretty funny.

this guy is my favorite. for those of you who have seen "blades of glory", he's the brother in the other tandom of skaters. he basically plays that same character in this show. his name is Gob (pronounced Job - the Bible Job). he's a wannabe magician and..... well just look at him. he makes me laugh just watching him ride around everywhere on that little scooter.

The Wonder Years

2007-06-21T23:45:00.001-06:00

does anyone else remember this show? well let me tell you that i sure do. they show old reruns here in az and i'm falling in love with it all over again. i dont know why it ever went off the air. its simply a classic. a thought-provoking insight into human culture amidst the turbulances and topsy-turvyness of the the decade that we all know as the 70's. i can remember vividly back in 85 when i first started watching this show. i thought to myself "wow, what a great self portrait this is of my own family." (minus the fact that they only have 3 kids to our 8). anyways, so i hope you all can find it somewhere amongst your 487 channels that is your television entertainment to watch it, or if not, at least think back to when you have watched and remember the sheer drama and joy that is this "wonderful" program.

my favorite part is still the narrator. hearing kevin's thoughts out loud always cracks me up. (ps, hey spencer, did you see that wayne stole your shorts in the top picture there? "hey butthead, the 70's called and they want their wardrobe back!") hahaha

and i dont know when darek ever made an appearance on it, but here he is with his girlfriend! (he's come a long way amberli)

Toilet Tunes

2007-06-18T15:35:00.000-06:00

i'm not quite sure whether or not i like the idea of having music played in the bathroom, but nonetheless, this is what brings the thought to mind: i'm sitting at my desk hard at work when i feel the unmistakable pang of mr. bladder letting me know its time to take care of business. so i take a stroll down the hallway and saunter into the mens room, but alas, to my wonderous surprise, there is a sweet melody floating in the air. yes, actual music playing in the doo-doo room. now i thought it a bit ironic that the song i heard playing was "beautiful" by james blunt. i dont know about ya'lls, but beauty isnt exactly what i think of when in the process of relieving myself. in fact, in most cases, what occurs behind those doors is quite the opposite. and so i couldnt help but let out a little chuckle as i picture myself sitting there while listening to "we shared a moment that will last to the end." we shared a moment alright. but instead of a chorus of "you're beautiful" it would be more along the lines of "you're coming out, i dont care how long it takes" type thing.

what about you folks? fans of music while disposing of bodily waste? i kinda think of it along the lines of reading the newspaper while dookying, which i wholeheartedly disagree with. i'm in there to accomplish one thing: get in and get out. i dont want to sit there and read about sports, news or any other otherwise good thing while i'm stinkin up the place. its not supposed to be a reprieve, or a rest. you have a "doody" to do, so get it done and be on with your day. but with music you dont have to actually "doo" anything, you just sit. so maybe a little classical would help with the process? maybe get the muscles relaxed a bit more? but then why would i want to associate something so beautiful as classical music with sitting on the john? maybe some other type of music? ah, thats where you come in james blunt, b/c you're about as beautiful as the stuff that comes outta my bum bum. perhaps thats a fitting song then. "but its time to face the truth. i will never like to poo." or better yet "when you were coming out i had a frown. but then i smiled while i flushed you down." i could go on, but you get the picture. anyways, just thought i'd fill ya in on my day. let me know your thoughts on 'boogety beats of the bathroom'

ps. do you ever laugh out loud when writing your own posts? i just did

An Eventful Day

2007-06-18T11:02:00.001-06:00

so this past saturday was just a great day. it started out with me driving to tempe so i could talk to someone about transfering credits and all that. i finally find the admin. building, put in my 30 min. worth of parking tolls, only to find out the place was closed. blast! so i figured i might as well use up my 30 min. and walk around campus a bit, but with it being 112 degrees that didnt last too long. i decide to come on home and enjoy the recess of the pool. i lay out for a bit, work on my albinoness, then take a dip for awhile. in all i was out back for around 2 hrs. Now instead of albinoman i'm lobsterman! totally got worked by the sun. take a look: (not me, just an example - my legs are much buffer)

and if that wasnt enough, that night i was playing around with vienna up in her room. "oh, haha, having so much fun playing! i love rolling around and pretending i'm dead. oh this is such a great time." And then: "ouch, son of a....!" something stung me. at first i thought it was a ant, cause erin and rob apparently run an animal shelter for ants now. but then when the throbbing kept getting worse and worse, i looked around for the bee. then i see it. the dastardly culprit who was responsible for my now swelling thumb. a freakin wasp! i've been stung by bees before and let me tell you this was no bee sting. it flippin hurt. no joke, for probably a 1/2 hr. my thumb just throbbed. i've never felt anything like it before. it was as if this was the barry bonds of wasps, pumped full of steroid poison. then it went numb and i couldnt bend it! and by this time my right thumb was at least twice as big as my left thumb. it was something. its still a tad bit fat, but at least i can move it now. i know vienna doesnt appreciate what i went thru for her. next to taking a straight up bullet in da chest, thats about all i can do for someone.

so nevermind i got THE biggest can of bee spray thats currently legal in AZ and took that sucka for a swim of his own. i didnt stop spraying until the kids started passing out cause of the fumes. boy i went to town on that thing and refused to put the can of "bug spray X5000: meant for bees/wasps, but strong enough for elephants" away until the USPC (united states pest control) was finally called in to clean up the pool of poison. i definitely had the last laugh on that one. (i guess it was more a sobbing laugh cause my thumb still hurt). man i tell ya that wasp kicked my butt. straight up abused me. i felt about as manly as a man who squeals with delight when he sees brad pitt with his shirt off. so put that sting in there along with my getting pinched by a pincher bug in the face when i'm laying in my bed, almost stepping on a cockroach at 2 am when i go into the bathroom, almost stepping on a dead bird thats laying just past the door into the garage, and flicking numerous other spiders and bugs off my bed or outta my way when walking around the house. i literally commend my body to the heavens every time i fall asleep in that house.

so that was my weakend. the sun pimp-slapped me all over and this wasp butt-slapped me on the hand. for petes sake (who's pete?), whats going on here!! cant a man go swimming w/out coming out looking like a cherry? cant a man play with his niece w/out having to fight back tears of pain? cant a man drive 20 miles and pay for a parking spot w/out being cruelly mocked by a sign that says "closed on weekends"? and cant a man at least go to sleep sunday night and sleep away the troubles of the weekend? oh no, not me. i toss and turn ALL freakin night. thats just great. why dont we just make a concoction of onions mixed with tobasco sauce and red peppers and rub it in my eyes? and that was my weekend.

Another Poem

2007-06-04T01:56:00.001-06:00

so i was looking thru some old stuff of mine and found this poem i wrote for my high school english class, i think it was sr. year. i dont remember what the assignment was, all i know is that i wrote this in memory of the scar displayed prominitely on my forehead, the one thats been there since i was 5 (or whenever it happened). the occasion was that of darek chasing me around the house. i wont tell you about it b/c i think the poem outlines it pretty clearly. i got a good laugh out of it and thought i'd share. (i'm pretty sure she gave me extra credit for it cause it was so dang good). so here's to you darek!

The Run

As he began to give chase i turned and fled,

Quickly gaining speed as i forced my legs to move.

I ran like the wind, flying around the house.

No matter how swiftly i flowed,

The gap between us began to close.

Was that a hand i felt against my back,

Or merely a slip on the kitchen floor?

The skin cracked and the blood poured,

My lifeless body crumpling beneath me.

The pain of that impact was never felt,

Or else it was just never remembered.

I hadn't been swift enough to stray my pursuer,

But perhaps too swift because my forehead met the counters edge.

The wind had had its run,

But in the end my brother was the one still standing.

7 Things Huh?

2007-05-30T00:25:00.000-06:00

okay, so i read amberli's blog and am now paying the consequences by having to do this "random things about me" post. altho i'm tempted to write 117 things, cause there's so much to me, i'll keep it to seven:

7. i sleep with earplugs every night

6. i secretly want to watch the new pride and prejudice movie again (yes, i'm straight)

5. my next "big" purchase is going to be a bookcase

4. i presently dont have a calling

3. i make $13.50 an hr.

2. the longest i have slept at one time is 14 hrs.

1. i have not kissed a girl this year

Boycott the Playoffs!

2007-05-20T23:38:00.001-06:00

seriously, what the crap did this years playoffs turn into? they go from awesome and amazing to boring and crap in less than a week. nobody wants the spurs to win outside of those losers who actually live there. the pistons are there every year it seems like. the cavs are good but stand the least chance of winning it all. and the jazz...... well if your a jazz fan then i pity your soul. all i can say about that series is this: i hope the spurs lose. i can never pull myself into actually rooting for or cheering the jazz on to victory, but if the spurs lose the series then i would be happy with that. how about we make the playoffs like the all-star game? let the fans vote in who they want. you marketing people want ratings? then let the fans make the matchups they want to see. that way teams like the spurs and jazz and pistons will never make it b/c they play the absolute most boring game of basketball ever! so, mr. stern, lend an ear my way and let me tell you how to make this league a whole lot better. let the suns and mavs (or golden state) back into it instead of the two loser teams you have playing right now in the western conference and let them play a best of 9 series. then you'll get your precious ratings b/c people will actually watch the games!

why arent i running the nba is all i'm thinking to myself right now....

A Poem

2007-05-15T09:44:00.001-06:00

here's a little slice of sunshine for ya'll. its a poem i wrote back in the 4th grade to a girl i liked. i had a crush on this chick, mary eagle, for almost 3 yrs, and could never quite win her over. i wrote this to her on valentines day and gave her some candies and what not. she scoffed at it. i remember giving her a hershey kiss at recess and she stepped on it (symbolic of her stepping on my heart). anyways, here it is:

Roses are red,
Violets are blue.
I like you,
So we're the perfect two.

sheer magic penned on paper i tell ya. what little 10 yr. old girls heart wouldnt melt if they got something like that in elementary, or even today? obviously hers b/c she crumpled it up and tossed it away (along with my hopes and dreams).
a really random post i know, but i thought i'd share with ya'll what a lyricist i am. "we got bill shakespeare over here? well laddy freakin dah!"

Yes, I Finally Got One

2007-05-14T12:26:00.001-06:00

and there you have it. my latest and greatest purchase. i feel so vitalized recently that i just have to go out and spend money. sheesh, what a woman i've become. but who cares about the thousands of dollars worth of debt when you have cool little toys!? i'll spend the next 15 years of my life paying off this car and ipod, but shoot, at least i'll do it while listening to good music in a sweet ride! but allow me to rationlize for a moment. my previous post mentioned how i got a new stereo system in my car (on the dealerships dollar). the one i decided on had a cool feature called "ipod ready", meaning you can plug your ipod into it and listen to all your songs thru the car stereo, while at the same time charging your ipod. and for hecks sake, who's going to have an "ipod ready" feature in their car but no ipod? i'll tell ya this much...... not me! altho i havent yet put any songs on it, needless to say i'm quite excited for the moment

cori, we're all doing it. come on, i know you want one. find some way to justify it and splurge. you'll only regret it until you use it

My Silver Bullet

2007-05-14T12:04:00.001-06:00

well here she is. i finally took the plunge and made my first big purchase. what a grown man i've become! i got so sick of looking that i finally just settled on one. its an '03 hyundai sonota. she's my little asian car. see, even the headlights look asian. so i finished everything up at the dealership and drive away all happy and excited to listen to my tunes in my new ride, only to discover that the cd player doesnt work! boy was i ticked. hell hath known no fury than what was displayed during that car ride home. (the one time i dont check the cd player during the test drive). loser salesman. he was an inactive member to boot, that shoulda tipped me off. and if that wasnt bad enough, on my trip over to vegas i discover the cassette player doesnt work either. i had to listen to my cd's on headphones. how embarrassing. needless to say i called the chumps up and they agreed to get one put in, which i just did this weekend. its heaven i tell ya. that and air conditioning, and a V-6. what else can man ask for in life? (for starters, a chick to share it with). its been good so far, i like it. i just hope it lasts a long time.

(price will remain undisclosed)

Goodbye My Looooove

2007-05-14T10:42:00.000-06:00

well the day has come. the old faithful truck has seen its last day in the mccoy household. she was a great little thing. many of us have fond memories of pleasant drives thru the countryside. i'm not one of those people but hopefully some of you did that. i was too busy macking on chicks. thats right, i put that truck to good use. driving a truck makes you more a man and i took advantage of it. but alas, i digress. she was beginning to break down; this and that were starting to go out. it was simply time. she served us well, for those of us who knew her. from spencers wrecking her mere days before i was to take over her reigns, to dareks 17 tickets he received while driving her, to sharlas failed attempts to learn the stick-shift. am i the only one who truly recognized her for her greatness and took advantage? (that greatness being mud-holes and off-roading). was i the only one man enough to stand up to dads tongue lashings when he found out i got it all dirty while taking it on forbidden paths? perhaps. but from her 9 miles a gallon, to no air conditioning, to a mockery of a V-4 engine....... i decided it was time to deal her elsewhere. i must say i was shocked to see how callously family members treated her when i offered them the deal of lifetime. dad scoffed at the idea of taking her back. spencer tantalized me with pretended interest only to turn away in disgust. she was a great truck. one worthy of medals, honors, awards, and collective admiration. some lucky soul got all of this for the steal of a price of $2000. greatness for only 2 grand!
i shed a tear as i watched her role away from me into the hands of another man...

A Pic of Me!

2007-05-03T15:45:00.000-06:00

i've had this blog for awhile now so i thought i'd better put up a picture of myself. (mainly so we can finally have something good to look at as opposed to the other pics usually posted on here). this was a couple years ago during halloween, we walked thru a corn maze. yippee. i remember i was mad cause the matrix was on tv and they made me come with them so i missed it. can you tell what i am? well neither can i so dont feel bad. i guess a hobo or something, albeit a freakin smooth looking hobo! i'm the only one who even attempted to dress up. and it wasnt planned as such, but see how everyone gathers round the center of attention? in all reality the only person i know is to my left, all those other people just wandered over when i got there so they could be in the company of greatness. okay, enough self-indulgence, this post is done.
(ps, my first kiss was with the girl next to me. and thats her brother on my other side...... awkward!)

My Latest Read

2007-04-30T14:36:00.000-06:00

this is called Sole Survivor, the story of a guy who survived 133 days, alone, on a raft after his ship was torpedoed during WW2. who the crap can do that?! i can imagine struggling for maybe a week or so, but 4 months? thats just unbelievable. he had to come up with a make-shift fishing line and hook so he could eat raw fish when his emergency food supply ran out. he had to rig his raft so he could catch and store rain water during storms. it even tells of a ship that came up to him and then turned away when they saw he was chinese. how do you not give up after that? i first read this in 5th grade and have wanted to read it again ever since, so i finally found it on amazon.com and bought it. it really is a remarkable story. its incredible how much someone can endure simply in the hopes of staying alive. (this blog was specially for you brooke!)

Fantasy Bball Champ!

2007-04-19T11:44:00.002-06:00

its a small thing i know, but i thought i'd let ya'll in on the joyful news. i'm not expecting much from this in the wake of other, more important, joyful news: that of brandon passing the bar. i dont know which is harder: winning a fantasy league or passing the bar, but i'm sure his is more well deserved :) this has been a long time coming, seeing as how i should have won it last year and i came in second place in football this year. there's nothing quite like the bragging rights of having beat all your friends in a sport that depends entirely on how other athletes perform. and the fact that i'm not even around my roomates to rub it in does take away from the glory; thats half the fun is telling them you beat them..... all the time. nobody takes email trash talk seriously and calling them to gloat is simply a pathetic attempt for attention. so i'm left alone to wallow in my shallow pride of having won it all. thats the latest and greatest in my life.

Car Shopping Sucks!

2007-04-10T09:26:00.001-06:00

okay so i'm in the middle of trying to purchase a new vehicle and it is going pretty lame. i was all ready to go yesterday with a car i liked for a good price, but i take it to a shop and they come out with $2500 worth of problems with the car. good heavens people. i dont know how much of that is them just trying to get business but either way i didnt want to risk it. so now i'm back to square one. this process is taking much longer than i hoped for. but i have to get a new car cause theres no way i'll make it thru an arizona summer with no ac. if only that dumb car would've cheout i'd be driving around right now in style, and not with my windows down and hot air blowing in my face.

but alas, my lot is cast and i'm doomed to search on. perhaps thievery is the way to go. i want a nice car but have no money, so i think i'll just start taking them! that reminds me. i picked up said car yesterday to take it into the mechanics and had rob drive it there to tell me what he thought of it. good thing too cause the car didnt have any plates (and need i remind you that this blogs publisher currently has a warrant out for him). so on the way rob gets pulled over by the cops. son of a.......! luckily he blew her a little kiss and winked, so he got off. but had that been me i'da been taken away in handcuffs. count your (unworthy) blessings huh? anyways, the search continues and hopefully i'll have a car here before too much longer.

Take Your Pick

2007-03-20T12:56:00.001-06:00

if you were the leader of our country and had to choose one guy to carry out all the dirty work, who would you pick? who would be the man you'd trust with millions of lives? now this isnt a "i'll take him cause he's cuter" type thing. this is serious business. the fate of our country depends on it........

Jack Bauer - 24

Jason Bourne - The Bourne Identity

James Bond - 007

Ethan Hunt - Mission Impossible

My Poor Little Baby!

2007-03-19T14:20:00.002-06:00

its a sad day indeed when even a persons bathroom items arent off-limits. this past weekend one erin morley secretly disposed of my favorite piece of shower-washing, body-cleansing material i've ever know. my loofa. that loofa has been with me since high school. we've been thru the mud and dirt (literally) together and have formed quite a bond. we had chemistry. she conformed to the contours of my body perfectly. we loved each other. but alas, a cruel hand has been dealt us. while i'm still sleeping, erin decides to clean the bathroom. fine by me. but then she happens upon a beautiful piece of artwork which she callously throws away as "trash." unbelievable. who would do such a thing? now the best (and only) loofa i've ever known is out with the garbage. it had already been salvaged once before when my mom tried to do the same thing. geez, the gall of these savages!! so i at once had to go to the store to try and replace what is unreplaceable. "i put another one in there for you" she says, but it was much too hard and stiff and would have irrited my skin to no end. forgiveness will be hard to come by for this incident. perhaps she was getting back at me for eating some girl scout cookies that she was going to send to her friend in brazil. nonetheless, cookies can be replaced. but the eternal bond of man and loofa can never be attained after it is lost. she might as well have sprayed mace in my eyes and kicked me out rather than toss away my lovely washer. call me names (i've already heard everything from rob), laugh at me, make jokes. but to me this is no jovial matter. my grievance knows no bounds. and so a poem:

my loofa was mine all mine,

clasped together until the end of time.

she loved me and i loved her,

the pleasant material felt like fur.

but now we are torn apart

piercing my soul like a dart.

i'll never forget the times we had,

when i think of you i'll always feel sad.

lathered up, ready to go

i turn on the shower and let the water flow.

the dirt and grime you always cleansed,

like a mother, changing a depends.

you made me clean and fresh

like a younger, handsome john tesh.

goodbye my love, i wont forget

never an equal, on that you can bet.